Well as u know that all the time we have 2 refrigerate the cucumber so that it stays fresh n does not come stale so now i have 2 take this juice with me to a place where thre is no refrigerator n ihave 2 take it with me so i want this juice to b fresh n effective n im looking for ur useful information thanks!!!!PLZ i have a preserving problem n im looking for good advice read the following!!!!?
Put it in a cooler with ice but eventually you'll need to refrigerate it.PLZ i have a preserving problem n im looking for good advice read the following!!!!?
I think maybe this question has another meaning, but yeah- a cooler works fine. There are also small refridgerators that you can plug into the wall or even into your car's cigarette lighter (we got a spider man one at toys r us for my son %26amp; I bought a white one there! they also have them online and like target...)
wrap it with a towel, it works for me.
live and learn
get a cool bag
freeze it overnight. Then you can allow it to slowly thaw during the day. It also will taste better that way.
I'M SORRY I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ?
BLUE ICE Go to the Grocery store and ask them for BLUE ICE. Usually you can find this in the shape of a ziplock bag (not bulky). This will allow you to carry the juice and keep it cool ....even if it's in your purse/backpack/lunchbox.
Cooler and Ice pack you have no other choice
not sure what cucumber has to do with the juice? is it a cucumber juice? anyway, haven't you heard of dry ice and cool-pack? that'll keep it cool for several hours, but not all day.
???
Try a cool bag with freezer blocks in it.
oh
Thursday, December 31, 2009
What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
my good friend, nicole, really likes this guy and wanted to know if he liked her back. so, at the end of the day 2day wen my friend walked away, the guy she likes just happened to walk by me. he said something to me but i just said to him ';hey, you like nicole doin't you?'; i was hoping hed say yes so nicole would be extremely happy but instead he just said ';no, i definitely don't.'; once he started walking away my friend came back and i told her i asked that guy if he liked her. im not so sure but i think shes mad at me. even tho this guy said no i think he might like her. i dont think ill say anything else to him but what do i say to nicole and what can i say to that guy to not make him think nicole likes him? please help. :)What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
i doubt he thinks that nicole likes him because all you said was hey you like nicole don't you. you didn't say she likes him. he probably thinks someone told you he likes her so i wouldn't worry about that! just let nicole get over it, it's way easier to be mad at the person who told you he doesn't like you then be mad at the person who actually doesn't like you (it's the typical shoot the messenger situation). i'm sure she'll get over it quickly!What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
1. Guys don't pick up on much, but that one is a huge red flag. If you are friends with Nicole and you ask some dude if he likes her, it is assumed that it came from her to ask him. This is especially the case as she came up to you right after you asked him.
2. His answer is meaningless. You put him on the spot in a wicked way; his only response was to be negative. If he said yes, then it would look like he had some secret crush on her (or something like that) - which would be very ';NOT'; cool.
3. You need to tell Nicole what you did. If you don't she could put herself in a much worse place by asking about him through somebody else. If ';dude'; gets asked a second time, he will run from her (and probably talk to his friends about her as well). Then you and Nicole are done with being friends.
The friend of a friend thing usually only mucks things up. If Nicole likes the dude, have her talk to him. Anything else is only a screen play for another bad sitcom.
i doubt he thinks that nicole likes him because all you said was hey you like nicole don't you. you didn't say she likes him. he probably thinks someone told you he likes her so i wouldn't worry about that! just let nicole get over it, it's way easier to be mad at the person who told you he doesn't like you then be mad at the person who actually doesn't like you (it's the typical shoot the messenger situation). i'm sure she'll get over it quickly!What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
1. Guys don't pick up on much, but that one is a huge red flag. If you are friends with Nicole and you ask some dude if he likes her, it is assumed that it came from her to ask him. This is especially the case as she came up to you right after you asked him.
2. His answer is meaningless. You put him on the spot in a wicked way; his only response was to be negative. If he said yes, then it would look like he had some secret crush on her (or something like that) - which would be very ';NOT'; cool.
3. You need to tell Nicole what you did. If you don't she could put herself in a much worse place by asking about him through somebody else. If ';dude'; gets asked a second time, he will run from her (and probably talk to his friends about her as well). Then you and Nicole are done with being friends.
The friend of a friend thing usually only mucks things up. If Nicole likes the dude, have her talk to him. Anything else is only a screen play for another bad sitcom.
Problem about my mom - advice please?
My mom seems to be very bored and she doesn't really have anything to do everyday. I've tried giving her books to read, having her do some knitting, and some other things. But she gets tired of those things very fast. All she does most of the time is listen to the radio. I've asked her before and she admitted that she was lonely some times. The problem is - I'm not such good company since I don't really talk much. I want her to enjoy herself more - I've asked her to go out with her friends too but she rarely does that because she likes to stay home. Do you have any suggestions as to what she might like to do at home? (Please don't say watch TV, take a walk in the garden, write a book, draw - I've tried suggesting those already). Would be glad for any help -thanks alotProblem about my mom - advice please?
Before she started becoming this way what did she do? perhaps suggest she does something she use to do other wise why don't you introduce her to the world of the internet? She may find a chat room with women similar to herself and they can natter on about different things and she could make some friends inside her own home.
Hope I've helped. Problem about my mom - advice please?
Your mom sounds like she is in a rut and/or depression. The sure signs of that is a lack of interest in everything you suggest. A good way to try and get her more involved is to invite her friends over since she doesn't want to leave the house. Maybe form some sort of weekly meeting at your house like a book club or something...any excuse just to give her some social interaction which may perk her up and get her motivated to go out. If that fails she needs to get some professional help since it does sound like she is in a mild depression.
What about getting some of her friends/family round to your house. do some food, put some music on and get them to have a little gathering there
try dating tell her to go to pubs and clubs i would if it was my mom good luck
Get her to a dansing group!
Its easy for people to get into a rut and your mum seems to be in one. She may benefit from having a pet rather than other people around. Try surprising her with a pet suitable for her home. A dog needs to be walked and hence she would get out and about more with a companion dog. If she cant have a dog, how about a cat for company? or a bird that she can befriend? I wouldnt go so far as suggesting fish but at least she would have something other than the television to watch. If the suggestion of a pet is feasible, you should ensure that you obtain as much reading material %26amp; information on keeping it as possible to encourage her new interest. From this, she might seek out other like-minded people which in turn might get her interested in a group or club involved in whatever her new interest might be. For example, a dog should have some level of training and puppy school is a fresh air experience where meeting other people is inevitable. If animals are out of the question, perhaps you could take her out more often. You say you are not very good company - perhaps your mum thinks the same thing? This cycle of thinking should be broken and can only be changed with both of you discussing the need and agreeing to do something about it. You might be surprised at her reaction if you were to express your concerns about her isolated lifestyle. Hopefully she may admit to wanting things to be different and would accept your help. Its no use both of you remaining silent about this when clearly both of you could make life a lot more interesting if you shared more together.
Before she started becoming this way what did she do? perhaps suggest she does something she use to do other wise why don't you introduce her to the world of the internet? She may find a chat room with women similar to herself and they can natter on about different things and she could make some friends inside her own home.
Hope I've helped. Problem about my mom - advice please?
Your mom sounds like she is in a rut and/or depression. The sure signs of that is a lack of interest in everything you suggest. A good way to try and get her more involved is to invite her friends over since she doesn't want to leave the house. Maybe form some sort of weekly meeting at your house like a book club or something...any excuse just to give her some social interaction which may perk her up and get her motivated to go out. If that fails she needs to get some professional help since it does sound like she is in a mild depression.
What about getting some of her friends/family round to your house. do some food, put some music on and get them to have a little gathering there
try dating tell her to go to pubs and clubs i would if it was my mom good luck
Get her to a dansing group!
Its easy for people to get into a rut and your mum seems to be in one. She may benefit from having a pet rather than other people around. Try surprising her with a pet suitable for her home. A dog needs to be walked and hence she would get out and about more with a companion dog. If she cant have a dog, how about a cat for company? or a bird that she can befriend? I wouldnt go so far as suggesting fish but at least she would have something other than the television to watch. If the suggestion of a pet is feasible, you should ensure that you obtain as much reading material %26amp; information on keeping it as possible to encourage her new interest. From this, she might seek out other like-minded people which in turn might get her interested in a group or club involved in whatever her new interest might be. For example, a dog should have some level of training and puppy school is a fresh air experience where meeting other people is inevitable. If animals are out of the question, perhaps you could take her out more often. You say you are not very good company - perhaps your mum thinks the same thing? This cycle of thinking should be broken and can only be changed with both of you discussing the need and agreeing to do something about it. You might be surprised at her reaction if you were to express your concerns about her isolated lifestyle. Hopefully she may admit to wanting things to be different and would accept your help. Its no use both of you remaining silent about this when clearly both of you could make life a lot more interesting if you shared more together.
Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
I have been dating a guy for 7 months now. when we met, things were going good. but from the 4th month until now things have been going wrong. we haven't been seeing much of each other. his father passed away 3 months ago and shortly after he quit his job and claims to be having financial problems. when I ask why he hasn't come to at least visit me, his excuse is bcuz of these ';money problems'; but I have offered him money to pay for gas. he says he is not cheating but I really don't know what to do at this point. when I threaten to break up with him, he gets angry and offended. so, what do you think? should I break up with him or what? any serious advice is appreciated!Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
I think you should give him time to sort things out. Let him know that you care.Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
try going to visit him if he ';cant'; visit you, and if he doesnt let you go there you have to break up with him. hes treating you wrong.
Listen to your inner voice and let nature take its course.
I think you should give him time to sort things out. Let him know that you care.Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
try going to visit him if he ';cant'; visit you, and if he doesnt let you go there you have to break up with him. hes treating you wrong.
Listen to your inner voice and let nature take its course.
Problem with Betta...need advice?
2 gallon Housing: heater, filter with air pump, gravel, air pump with undergravel filter, thermometer, cave, 2 plants
the bottom is dense and the top of the water is free for him to swim
My betta has been suffering fungus for 2 months now
and once it stopped but came back
so i gave him a filter, heated his water, and such
BUT its back and attacking him at a faster rate
and I think he's suffering PopEye
one eye is big, then next day it gets small but the other eye gets big
yesterday i bought a gravel cleaner and tried using it
stead I made a big mess
and there's pink gravel dust everywhere and I was thinking
should I do a 100% change, take out his air pump
(his filter has an air pump as well..so there's like 2 now)
put some aquarium salt
and give him his medicine again and turn the filter off?Problem with Betta...need advice?
You must treat the diseases with special medicine again.
Getting the tank clean will remove the cause of the fungus and popeye.
Hope this helps, hope this little guy gets better soon.
I agree with the other answerers that 100% change is too drastic and too much for the fish. This was my gut feeling at first.
Good luck!Problem with Betta...need advice?
Don't do 100% water change- change out 35 % of the water.
Get him some Melafix- that treats fungal for sure and I think pop eye.
If the gravel vac is too big use a turkey baster to siphon out the gunk from his tank.
You shouldn't need to turn of the filter for the melafix- it says it doesn't kill bacteria, but if your worried take out the carbon.
well dont do such a drastic water change because that might kill the fish. what you should do is take out the filter cartiadge because carbon will filter the medicine out of the tank. do not bother wit the aquarium salt. the debry in the tank is normal because u recently just used a gravel vac. let it settle. treat the guy wit the proper medication and try not to disturb the tank anymore because the more u disturb the tank the more the fish is going to be stressed.
You can buy bettafix at petsmart. it will cure any disease that a beta could have. Do not buy Melafix, the dosage is too big and will kill your betta.
If you do not treat it, the betta will die.
After it is treated, follow the instructions on the bottle. You will have to do a water change
Good luck
wow.. that is one filtered tank. so what's his tank temp at? a good temp range for a betta should be somewhere between 75F and 80F and holding steady. fluctuating heat is just as bad for him as too cool of water.
adding aquarium salt in the tank should help out your betta's slime coat and might make it harder for the fungus to survive. and adding products like ';cycle'; or ';betta fix'; might help your guy out. in fact bettafix is a tea tree oil based med meant specifically for bettas and helps boost their immune systems so you might try this.
do you think the tank has too much current? while he's not feeling that well it might be a good idea to slow down the turbulent waters just so he can get a break.
you could do a 100% water change but that means you will get an ammonia spike even as quickly as in 24 hrs and this may be too much for your sick betta to take! there shouldn't be anything wrong with the water if your filters are running. the carbon in the filters will clean the water right out and even take the meds out if you wanted to try some other form of medication. make sure you're not mixing meds that shouldn't be mixed. just test the water and unless there's a spike in a level where there shouldn't be... i'd leave his water alone.
good luck, it's so frustrating doing everything you can to save a fish and then just have to watch and hope.acne cream
the bottom is dense and the top of the water is free for him to swim
My betta has been suffering fungus for 2 months now
and once it stopped but came back
so i gave him a filter, heated his water, and such
BUT its back and attacking him at a faster rate
and I think he's suffering PopEye
one eye is big, then next day it gets small but the other eye gets big
yesterday i bought a gravel cleaner and tried using it
stead I made a big mess
and there's pink gravel dust everywhere and I was thinking
should I do a 100% change, take out his air pump
(his filter has an air pump as well..so there's like 2 now)
put some aquarium salt
and give him his medicine again and turn the filter off?Problem with Betta...need advice?
You must treat the diseases with special medicine again.
Getting the tank clean will remove the cause of the fungus and popeye.
Hope this helps, hope this little guy gets better soon.
I agree with the other answerers that 100% change is too drastic and too much for the fish. This was my gut feeling at first.
Good luck!Problem with Betta...need advice?
Don't do 100% water change- change out 35 % of the water.
Get him some Melafix- that treats fungal for sure and I think pop eye.
If the gravel vac is too big use a turkey baster to siphon out the gunk from his tank.
You shouldn't need to turn of the filter for the melafix- it says it doesn't kill bacteria, but if your worried take out the carbon.
well dont do such a drastic water change because that might kill the fish. what you should do is take out the filter cartiadge because carbon will filter the medicine out of the tank. do not bother wit the aquarium salt. the debry in the tank is normal because u recently just used a gravel vac. let it settle. treat the guy wit the proper medication and try not to disturb the tank anymore because the more u disturb the tank the more the fish is going to be stressed.
You can buy bettafix at petsmart. it will cure any disease that a beta could have. Do not buy Melafix, the dosage is too big and will kill your betta.
If you do not treat it, the betta will die.
After it is treated, follow the instructions on the bottle. You will have to do a water change
Good luck
wow.. that is one filtered tank. so what's his tank temp at? a good temp range for a betta should be somewhere between 75F and 80F and holding steady. fluctuating heat is just as bad for him as too cool of water.
adding aquarium salt in the tank should help out your betta's slime coat and might make it harder for the fungus to survive. and adding products like ';cycle'; or ';betta fix'; might help your guy out. in fact bettafix is a tea tree oil based med meant specifically for bettas and helps boost their immune systems so you might try this.
do you think the tank has too much current? while he's not feeling that well it might be a good idea to slow down the turbulent waters just so he can get a break.
you could do a 100% water change but that means you will get an ammonia spike even as quickly as in 24 hrs and this may be too much for your sick betta to take! there shouldn't be anything wrong with the water if your filters are running. the carbon in the filters will clean the water right out and even take the meds out if you wanted to try some other form of medication. make sure you're not mixing meds that shouldn't be mixed. just test the water and unless there's a spike in a level where there shouldn't be... i'd leave his water alone.
good luck, it's so frustrating doing everything you can to save a fish and then just have to watch and hope.
Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
I am starting a new job within the next few days and have a problem. I am going to be working at a small clothing store for women as a lead sales rep. The dress-code is casual/semi-formal-ish, no jeans policy, and this is my problem. I noticed the female employees all wear wedge type sandals, or clothes and shoes that I would never wear in my own time. I don't like skirts, shorts, capris, tank tops or short sleeve shirts, mainly because I avoid the sun and I am not my fittest. Also, my feet sweat A LOT because I have hyperhydrosis, so naturally sandals or shoes that can't be worn with socks are extremely uncomfortable since slipping and sliding around causes friction against my toes and sides of feet. If I could I'd prefer to wear boots with a slight heel but I also have scoliosis, so standing for long periods of time becomes hard enough, let alone in heels. I almost feel contradictory working in a fashion clothing store when I am extremely conservative, wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts.
So I've been really nervous and concerned as what to do. I want to be comfortable as well as fit in with everyone else. Any suggestions or advice? I'll probably talk to the manager about it today, but was wondering if anyone else had this kind of problem as far as having sweaty feet and finding comfortable, fashionable shoes that can be worn with socks, or have a remedy for sweaty feet?
Thanks in advance!Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
My experience has showed me that the only kind of inside sole to wear when you feel sweat is one that is made from cork which is obtained from tree trunk bark.
I have used them for years and a very thin cork sole does the trick. No slipping or discomfort. You will be able to forget about your feet once you start using them.
Also the soles used in Dr. Scholl's and Birkenstock shoe wear do the same trick but are made of some other material. They are worth the investment and are top fashion health shoes. Both brand names made shoes that last for years.
I don 't know where to advise you to buy them but they are well worth looking for.
Your at work outfit could be long pants and a long sleeve shirt with a sweater vest for chilly days. I would choose either all black or all cream color which are elegant and yet fit in almost anywhere.
Please remember that you do not have to look like your clients or customers. What counts is your kind and helpful attitude towards your customers and their families (if they come along too on the shopping trip). A warm understanding smile always helps.
Good Luck in finding your shoes. The right shoes are so important.Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=32942鈥?/a>
You could wear flats with the little shear socks that you cant see under the flats
Like these
http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104鈥?/a>
You could also just slip your shoes on and off throughout the day
As for what to wear
Even though you dont like dresses or skirts you kinds have to suck it up because of the dress code
http://www.charlotterusse.com/family/ind鈥?/a>
The longer skirts on this website probable come down to the knee
Also this store has adorable dresses, tops, flats and dress pants so you could probably find something you like
=]
Well it sounds like u have a real dillima on you hands. I noticed you said theat there is a strict no PANTS pollicy. I would ask your boss if you could wear slacks. They give a nice formal but not to formal look. I would also ask if it would be possible to maybe wear a cute pair of flats (if you get straight leg or bootcut slacks they will cover you socks) like these %26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg%26amp;size=l%26amp;tid=924498
I would maybe ask if you could wear a cute shall or fitted jacket similar to this%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://cache.wists.com/thumbnails/e/c2/ec2f5bbea35cf4cf80add5c63da2cc7f-orig
I hoped this helped =D! Good Luck!
So I've been really nervous and concerned as what to do. I want to be comfortable as well as fit in with everyone else. Any suggestions or advice? I'll probably talk to the manager about it today, but was wondering if anyone else had this kind of problem as far as having sweaty feet and finding comfortable, fashionable shoes that can be worn with socks, or have a remedy for sweaty feet?
Thanks in advance!Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
My experience has showed me that the only kind of inside sole to wear when you feel sweat is one that is made from cork which is obtained from tree trunk bark.
I have used them for years and a very thin cork sole does the trick. No slipping or discomfort. You will be able to forget about your feet once you start using them.
Also the soles used in Dr. Scholl's and Birkenstock shoe wear do the same trick but are made of some other material. They are worth the investment and are top fashion health shoes. Both brand names made shoes that last for years.
I don 't know where to advise you to buy them but they are well worth looking for.
Your at work outfit could be long pants and a long sleeve shirt with a sweater vest for chilly days. I would choose either all black or all cream color which are elegant and yet fit in almost anywhere.
Please remember that you do not have to look like your clients or customers. What counts is your kind and helpful attitude towards your customers and their families (if they come along too on the shopping trip). A warm understanding smile always helps.
Good Luck in finding your shoes. The right shoes are so important.Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=32942鈥?/a>
You could wear flats with the little shear socks that you cant see under the flats
Like these
http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104鈥?/a>
You could also just slip your shoes on and off throughout the day
As for what to wear
Even though you dont like dresses or skirts you kinds have to suck it up because of the dress code
http://www.charlotterusse.com/family/ind鈥?/a>
The longer skirts on this website probable come down to the knee
Also this store has adorable dresses, tops, flats and dress pants so you could probably find something you like
=]
Well it sounds like u have a real dillima on you hands. I noticed you said theat there is a strict no PANTS pollicy. I would ask your boss if you could wear slacks. They give a nice formal but not to formal look. I would also ask if it would be possible to maybe wear a cute pair of flats (if you get straight leg or bootcut slacks they will cover you socks) like these %26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg%26amp;size=l%26amp;tid=924498
I would maybe ask if you could wear a cute shall or fitted jacket similar to this%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://cache.wists.com/thumbnails/e/c2/ec2f5bbea35cf4cf80add5c63da2cc7f-orig
I hoped this helped =D! Good Luck!
PROBLEM WITH EX, NEED ADVICE?
I know this is a long read, so I'll give lots of points for the best answer!
I am a 17 year old girl, my ex and I broke up 6 months ago.. Although I've been in a lot of relationships for my age, ours was the deepest and most romantic relationship I've been in so far. We were totally devoted to each other and I guess you could say we were the couple everyone wanted to be. But there was lots of jealousy because LOTS of girls wanted him and LOTS of guys wanted me.(not to sound conceited) Thus, it ended very dramatically and everyone knew about it, so we stopped talking for 5 months. During that time, both of us continued to check up on each other.(on myspace and through mutual friends) He got a new girlfriend, who he makes call him by his last name?? and he uses the same nicknames that WE made up for each other on her..%26amp; I got a new boyfriend but I broke up with him after a few weeks because I realized I wasn't ready for a relationship. He still is dating his girlfriend, but he's playing her, he kisses and touches other girls in public and talks about it to all his friends, which he DIDN'T do with me. Believe me I know, he might have cheated when he went out of town, but I honestly don't think he did. He was utterly smitten with me. Anyhow, so we finally talked again, and we both apologized for everything that happened between us. But I figured he still wanted to pretend like we weren't talking in public to keep up his ';image';(He doesn't want his boys to think I have him on check or that he's sensitive, which he really is). Nevertheless I would notice him getting closer to me when we sat near each other, and he would stare at me like he was waiting for me to say something and then turn away looking hurt. After that, he's stopped looking at me at all.
Now hes back to being an asshole to me, and he claims he's ';in love'; with his girlfriend..who he's playing. Anyways, at first I thought I had the upper hand, but I'm afraid he still has a piece of my heart because I can't seem to stop thinking about him which is the worst feeling in the world.
My question is, WHAT is/was he trying to do?
%26amp; what should I do in response?PROBLEM WITH EX, NEED ADVICE?
Sounds like he's playing YOU.
He knows that you still have feelings for him, so he's taking that as an advantage. He's playing with your emotions, overall. He's probably thinking ';Oh I can do what I want and STILL have a girl to go to if I mess everything up.'; Which definitely isn't cool.
So, the question is? What do you do? You play back.
Try distancing yourself from him as if you're moving on. He'll see that you're slipping away and he'll realize that he'd better stop his games before you get away.
Try going out, and let him see you happy. I'm sure he'll figure out soon ;)PROBLEM WITH EX, NEED ADVICE?
Morning ;)
Well first of all i am going to say what you have heard a
MILLION TIMES and that is that you are to young to be Stressing over some boy, because at that age that is exactly what they are.
However it is harder because you love him and he has your Heart Right?? well it's always going to be that way because like you said you shared something special with him that you had not experienced or shared with anyone else. Well all you can really do is give it time i know that is such basic advice but the truth is that only time will tell, it will tell if he really loves you %26amp; cares it will tell if he has moved on for good or just to play around which he is doing %26amp; will come back because he knows he has you right there waiting? remember that is up to you.As much as you want to know the answers to all the why's/what's, i am afraid that is a mystery but don't worry because when you meet that special man that was made just for you you will than know why nothing else ever worked out or made sense. Sometimes it takes a couple to get to the right one, for now focus on positive things %26amp; stay busy, never pass on a date because you don't know what you might miss out on ;) go out with your girlfriends as much as you can %26amp; just have fun! Remember if He is not the One there will be plenty more to choose from throughout the years.
Listen to Keyshia Cole or beyonce's new music espec. if i were a boy %26amp; single ladies to help you along the way. ;)
Sorry for the novel
Hope i Helped a bit..
-Jess
I am a 17 year old girl, my ex and I broke up 6 months ago.. Although I've been in a lot of relationships for my age, ours was the deepest and most romantic relationship I've been in so far. We were totally devoted to each other and I guess you could say we were the couple everyone wanted to be. But there was lots of jealousy because LOTS of girls wanted him and LOTS of guys wanted me.(not to sound conceited) Thus, it ended very dramatically and everyone knew about it, so we stopped talking for 5 months. During that time, both of us continued to check up on each other.(on myspace and through mutual friends) He got a new girlfriend, who he makes call him by his last name?? and he uses the same nicknames that WE made up for each other on her..%26amp; I got a new boyfriend but I broke up with him after a few weeks because I realized I wasn't ready for a relationship. He still is dating his girlfriend, but he's playing her, he kisses and touches other girls in public and talks about it to all his friends, which he DIDN'T do with me. Believe me I know, he might have cheated when he went out of town, but I honestly don't think he did. He was utterly smitten with me. Anyhow, so we finally talked again, and we both apologized for everything that happened between us. But I figured he still wanted to pretend like we weren't talking in public to keep up his ';image';(He doesn't want his boys to think I have him on check or that he's sensitive, which he really is). Nevertheless I would notice him getting closer to me when we sat near each other, and he would stare at me like he was waiting for me to say something and then turn away looking hurt. After that, he's stopped looking at me at all.
Now hes back to being an asshole to me, and he claims he's ';in love'; with his girlfriend..who he's playing. Anyways, at first I thought I had the upper hand, but I'm afraid he still has a piece of my heart because I can't seem to stop thinking about him which is the worst feeling in the world.
My question is, WHAT is/was he trying to do?
%26amp; what should I do in response?PROBLEM WITH EX, NEED ADVICE?
Sounds like he's playing YOU.
He knows that you still have feelings for him, so he's taking that as an advantage. He's playing with your emotions, overall. He's probably thinking ';Oh I can do what I want and STILL have a girl to go to if I mess everything up.'; Which definitely isn't cool.
So, the question is? What do you do? You play back.
Try distancing yourself from him as if you're moving on. He'll see that you're slipping away and he'll realize that he'd better stop his games before you get away.
Try going out, and let him see you happy. I'm sure he'll figure out soon ;)PROBLEM WITH EX, NEED ADVICE?
Morning ;)
Well first of all i am going to say what you have heard a
MILLION TIMES and that is that you are to young to be Stressing over some boy, because at that age that is exactly what they are.
However it is harder because you love him and he has your Heart Right?? well it's always going to be that way because like you said you shared something special with him that you had not experienced or shared with anyone else. Well all you can really do is give it time i know that is such basic advice but the truth is that only time will tell, it will tell if he really loves you %26amp; cares it will tell if he has moved on for good or just to play around which he is doing %26amp; will come back because he knows he has you right there waiting? remember that is up to you.As much as you want to know the answers to all the why's/what's, i am afraid that is a mystery but don't worry because when you meet that special man that was made just for you you will than know why nothing else ever worked out or made sense. Sometimes it takes a couple to get to the right one, for now focus on positive things %26amp; stay busy, never pass on a date because you don't know what you might miss out on ;) go out with your girlfriends as much as you can %26amp; just have fun! Remember if He is not the One there will be plenty more to choose from throughout the years.
Listen to Keyshia Cole or beyonce's new music espec. if i were a boy %26amp; single ladies to help you along the way. ;)
Sorry for the novel
Hope i Helped a bit..
-Jess
PLZ i have a preserving problem n im looking for good advice read the following!!!!?
Well as u know that all the time we have 2 refrigerate the cucumber so that it stays fresh n does not come stale so now i have 2 take this juice with me to a place where thre is no refrigerator n ihave 2 take it with me so i want this juice to b fresh n effective n im looking for ur useful information thanks!!!!PLZ i have a preserving problem n im looking for good advice read the following!!!!?
Put it in a cooler with ice but eventually you'll need to refrigerate it.PLZ i have a preserving problem n im looking for good advice read the following!!!!?
I think maybe this question has another meaning, but yeah- a cooler works fine. There are also small refridgerators that you can plug into the wall or even into your car's cigarette lighter (we got a spider man one at toys r us for my son %26amp; I bought a white one there! they also have them online and like target...)
wrap it with a towel, it works for me.
live and learn
get a cool bag
freeze it overnight. Then you can allow it to slowly thaw during the day. It also will taste better that way.
I'M SORRY I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ?
BLUE ICE Go to the Grocery store and ask them for BLUE ICE. Usually you can find this in the shape of a ziplock bag (not bulky). This will allow you to carry the juice and keep it cool ....even if it's in your purse/backpack/lunchbox.
Cooler and Ice pack you have no other choice
not sure what cucumber has to do with the juice? is it a cucumber juice? anyway, haven't you heard of dry ice and cool-pack? that'll keep it cool for several hours, but not all day.
???
Try a cool bag with freezer blocks in it.
oh
Put it in a cooler with ice but eventually you'll need to refrigerate it.PLZ i have a preserving problem n im looking for good advice read the following!!!!?
I think maybe this question has another meaning, but yeah- a cooler works fine. There are also small refridgerators that you can plug into the wall or even into your car's cigarette lighter (we got a spider man one at toys r us for my son %26amp; I bought a white one there! they also have them online and like target...)
wrap it with a towel, it works for me.
live and learn
get a cool bag
freeze it overnight. Then you can allow it to slowly thaw during the day. It also will taste better that way.
I'M SORRY I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ?
BLUE ICE Go to the Grocery store and ask them for BLUE ICE. Usually you can find this in the shape of a ziplock bag (not bulky). This will allow you to carry the juice and keep it cool ....even if it's in your purse/backpack/lunchbox.
Cooler and Ice pack you have no other choice
not sure what cucumber has to do with the juice? is it a cucumber juice? anyway, haven't you heard of dry ice and cool-pack? that'll keep it cool for several hours, but not all day.
???
Try a cool bag with freezer blocks in it.
oh
What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
my good friend, nicole, really likes this guy and wanted to know if he liked her back. so, at the end of the day 2day wen my friend walked away, the guy she likes just happened to walk by me. he said something to me but i just said to him ';hey, you like nicole doin't you?'; i was hoping hed say yes so nicole would be extremely happy but instead he just said ';no, i definitely don't.'; once he started walking away my friend came back and i told her i asked that guy if he liked her. im not so sure but i think shes mad at me. even tho this guy said no i think he might like her. i dont think ill say anything else to him but what do i say to nicole and what can i say to that guy to not make him think nicole likes him? please help. :)What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
i doubt he thinks that nicole likes him because all you said was hey you like nicole don't you. you didn't say she likes him. he probably thinks someone told you he likes her so i wouldn't worry about that! just let nicole get over it, it's way easier to be mad at the person who told you he doesn't like you then be mad at the person who actually doesn't like you (it's the typical shoot the messenger situation). i'm sure she'll get over it quickly!What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
1. Guys don't pick up on much, but that one is a huge red flag. If you are friends with Nicole and you ask some dude if he likes her, it is assumed that it came from her to ask him. This is especially the case as she came up to you right after you asked him.
2. His answer is meaningless. You put him on the spot in a wicked way; his only response was to be negative. If he said yes, then it would look like he had some secret crush on her (or something like that) - which would be very ';NOT'; cool.
3. You need to tell Nicole what you did. If you don't she could put herself in a much worse place by asking about him through somebody else. If ';dude'; gets asked a second time, he will run from her (and probably talk to his friends about her as well). Then you and Nicole are done with being friends.
The friend of a friend thing usually only mucks things up. If Nicole likes the dude, have her talk to him. Anything else is only a screen play for another bad sitcom.
i doubt he thinks that nicole likes him because all you said was hey you like nicole don't you. you didn't say she likes him. he probably thinks someone told you he likes her so i wouldn't worry about that! just let nicole get over it, it's way easier to be mad at the person who told you he doesn't like you then be mad at the person who actually doesn't like you (it's the typical shoot the messenger situation). i'm sure she'll get over it quickly!What is some good advice for my friend about how to handle her problem that i helped start?
1. Guys don't pick up on much, but that one is a huge red flag. If you are friends with Nicole and you ask some dude if he likes her, it is assumed that it came from her to ask him. This is especially the case as she came up to you right after you asked him.
2. His answer is meaningless. You put him on the spot in a wicked way; his only response was to be negative. If he said yes, then it would look like he had some secret crush on her (or something like that) - which would be very ';NOT'; cool.
3. You need to tell Nicole what you did. If you don't she could put herself in a much worse place by asking about him through somebody else. If ';dude'; gets asked a second time, he will run from her (and probably talk to his friends about her as well). Then you and Nicole are done with being friends.
The friend of a friend thing usually only mucks things up. If Nicole likes the dude, have her talk to him. Anything else is only a screen play for another bad sitcom.
Problem about my mom - advice please?
My mom seems to be very bored and she doesn't really have anything to do everyday. I've tried giving her books to read, having her do some knitting, and some other things. But she gets tired of those things very fast. All she does most of the time is listen to the radio. I've asked her before and she admitted that she was lonely some times. The problem is - I'm not such good company since I don't really talk much. I want her to enjoy herself more - I've asked her to go out with her friends too but she rarely does that because she likes to stay home. Do you have any suggestions as to what she might like to do at home? (Please don't say watch TV, take a walk in the garden, write a book, draw - I've tried suggesting those already). Would be glad for any help -thanks alotProblem about my mom - advice please?
Before she started becoming this way what did she do? perhaps suggest she does something she use to do other wise why don't you introduce her to the world of the internet? She may find a chat room with women similar to herself and they can natter on about different things and she could make some friends inside her own home.
Hope I've helped. Problem about my mom - advice please?
Your mom sounds like she is in a rut and/or depression. The sure signs of that is a lack of interest in everything you suggest. A good way to try and get her more involved is to invite her friends over since she doesn't want to leave the house. Maybe form some sort of weekly meeting at your house like a book club or something...any excuse just to give her some social interaction which may perk her up and get her motivated to go out. If that fails she needs to get some professional help since it does sound like she is in a mild depression.
What about getting some of her friends/family round to your house. do some food, put some music on and get them to have a little gathering there
try dating tell her to go to pubs and clubs i would if it was my mom good luck
Get her to a dansing group!
Its easy for people to get into a rut and your mum seems to be in one. She may benefit from having a pet rather than other people around. Try surprising her with a pet suitable for her home. A dog needs to be walked and hence she would get out and about more with a companion dog. If she cant have a dog, how about a cat for company? or a bird that she can befriend? I wouldnt go so far as suggesting fish but at least she would have something other than the television to watch. If the suggestion of a pet is feasible, you should ensure that you obtain as much reading material %26amp; information on keeping it as possible to encourage her new interest. From this, she might seek out other like-minded people which in turn might get her interested in a group or club involved in whatever her new interest might be. For example, a dog should have some level of training and puppy school is a fresh air experience where meeting other people is inevitable. If animals are out of the question, perhaps you could take her out more often. You say you are not very good company - perhaps your mum thinks the same thing? This cycle of thinking should be broken and can only be changed with both of you discussing the need and agreeing to do something about it. You might be surprised at her reaction if you were to express your concerns about her isolated lifestyle. Hopefully she may admit to wanting things to be different and would accept your help. Its no use both of you remaining silent about this when clearly both of you could make life a lot more interesting if you shared more together.
Before she started becoming this way what did she do? perhaps suggest she does something she use to do other wise why don't you introduce her to the world of the internet? She may find a chat room with women similar to herself and they can natter on about different things and she could make some friends inside her own home.
Hope I've helped. Problem about my mom - advice please?
Your mom sounds like she is in a rut and/or depression. The sure signs of that is a lack of interest in everything you suggest. A good way to try and get her more involved is to invite her friends over since she doesn't want to leave the house. Maybe form some sort of weekly meeting at your house like a book club or something...any excuse just to give her some social interaction which may perk her up and get her motivated to go out. If that fails she needs to get some professional help since it does sound like she is in a mild depression.
What about getting some of her friends/family round to your house. do some food, put some music on and get them to have a little gathering there
try dating tell her to go to pubs and clubs i would if it was my mom good luck
Get her to a dansing group!
Its easy for people to get into a rut and your mum seems to be in one. She may benefit from having a pet rather than other people around. Try surprising her with a pet suitable for her home. A dog needs to be walked and hence she would get out and about more with a companion dog. If she cant have a dog, how about a cat for company? or a bird that she can befriend? I wouldnt go so far as suggesting fish but at least she would have something other than the television to watch. If the suggestion of a pet is feasible, you should ensure that you obtain as much reading material %26amp; information on keeping it as possible to encourage her new interest. From this, she might seek out other like-minded people which in turn might get her interested in a group or club involved in whatever her new interest might be. For example, a dog should have some level of training and puppy school is a fresh air experience where meeting other people is inevitable. If animals are out of the question, perhaps you could take her out more often. You say you are not very good company - perhaps your mum thinks the same thing? This cycle of thinking should be broken and can only be changed with both of you discussing the need and agreeing to do something about it. You might be surprised at her reaction if you were to express your concerns about her isolated lifestyle. Hopefully she may admit to wanting things to be different and would accept your help. Its no use both of you remaining silent about this when clearly both of you could make life a lot more interesting if you shared more together.
Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
I have been dating a guy for 7 months now. when we met, things were going good. but from the 4th month until now things have been going wrong. we haven't been seeing much of each other. his father passed away 3 months ago and shortly after he quit his job and claims to be having financial problems. when I ask why he hasn't come to at least visit me, his excuse is bcuz of these ';money problems'; but I have offered him money to pay for gas. he says he is not cheating but I really don't know what to do at this point. when I threaten to break up with him, he gets angry and offended. so, what do you think? should I break up with him or what? any serious advice is appreciated!Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
try going to visit him if he ';cant'; visit you, and if he doesnt let you go there you have to break up with him. hes treating you wrong.Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
I think you should give him time to sort things out. Let him know that you care.
Listen to your inner voice and let nature take its course.acne cream
try going to visit him if he ';cant'; visit you, and if he doesnt let you go there you have to break up with him. hes treating you wrong.Problem w/ new relationship! advice appreciated!?
I think you should give him time to sort things out. Let him know that you care.
Listen to your inner voice and let nature take its course.
Problem with Betta...need advice?
2 gallon Housing: heater, filter with air pump, gravel, air pump with undergravel filter, thermometer, cave, 2 plants
the bottom is dense and the top of the water is free for him to swim
My betta has been suffering fungus for 2 months now
and once it stopped but came back
so i gave him a filter, heated his water, and such
BUT its back and attacking him at a faster rate
and I think he's suffering PopEye
one eye is big, then next day it gets small but the other eye gets big
yesterday i bought a gravel cleaner and tried using it
stead I made a big mess
and there's pink gravel dust everywhere and I was thinking
should I do a 100% change, take out his air pump
(his filter has an air pump as well..so there's like 2 now)
put some aquarium salt
and give him his medicine again and turn the filter off?Problem with Betta...need advice?
You must treat the diseases with special medicine again.
Getting the tank clean will remove the cause of the fungus and popeye.
Hope this helps, hope this little guy gets better soon.
I agree with the other answerers that 100% change is too drastic and too much for the fish. This was my gut feeling at first.
Good luck!Problem with Betta...need advice?
Don't do 100% water change- change out 35 % of the water.
Get him some Melafix- that treats fungal for sure and I think pop eye.
If the gravel vac is too big use a turkey baster to siphon out the gunk from his tank.
You shouldn't need to turn of the filter for the melafix- it says it doesn't kill bacteria, but if your worried take out the carbon.
well dont do such a drastic water change because that might kill the fish. what you should do is take out the filter cartiadge because carbon will filter the medicine out of the tank. do not bother wit the aquarium salt. the debry in the tank is normal because u recently just used a gravel vac. let it settle. treat the guy wit the proper medication and try not to disturb the tank anymore because the more u disturb the tank the more the fish is going to be stressed.
You can buy bettafix at petsmart. it will cure any disease that a beta could have. Do not buy Melafix, the dosage is too big and will kill your betta.
If you do not treat it, the betta will die.
After it is treated, follow the instructions on the bottle. You will have to do a water change
Good luck
wow.. that is one filtered tank. so what's his tank temp at? a good temp range for a betta should be somewhere between 75F and 80F and holding steady. fluctuating heat is just as bad for him as too cool of water.
adding aquarium salt in the tank should help out your betta's slime coat and might make it harder for the fungus to survive. and adding products like ';cycle'; or ';betta fix'; might help your guy out. in fact bettafix is a tea tree oil based med meant specifically for bettas and helps boost their immune systems so you might try this.
do you think the tank has too much current? while he's not feeling that well it might be a good idea to slow down the turbulent waters just so he can get a break.
you could do a 100% water change but that means you will get an ammonia spike even as quickly as in 24 hrs and this may be too much for your sick betta to take! there shouldn't be anything wrong with the water if your filters are running. the carbon in the filters will clean the water right out and even take the meds out if you wanted to try some other form of medication. make sure you're not mixing meds that shouldn't be mixed. just test the water and unless there's a spike in a level where there shouldn't be... i'd leave his water alone.
good luck, it's so frustrating doing everything you can to save a fish and then just have to watch and hope.
the bottom is dense and the top of the water is free for him to swim
My betta has been suffering fungus for 2 months now
and once it stopped but came back
so i gave him a filter, heated his water, and such
BUT its back and attacking him at a faster rate
and I think he's suffering PopEye
one eye is big, then next day it gets small but the other eye gets big
yesterday i bought a gravel cleaner and tried using it
stead I made a big mess
and there's pink gravel dust everywhere and I was thinking
should I do a 100% change, take out his air pump
(his filter has an air pump as well..so there's like 2 now)
put some aquarium salt
and give him his medicine again and turn the filter off?Problem with Betta...need advice?
You must treat the diseases with special medicine again.
Getting the tank clean will remove the cause of the fungus and popeye.
Hope this helps, hope this little guy gets better soon.
I agree with the other answerers that 100% change is too drastic and too much for the fish. This was my gut feeling at first.
Good luck!Problem with Betta...need advice?
Don't do 100% water change- change out 35 % of the water.
Get him some Melafix- that treats fungal for sure and I think pop eye.
If the gravel vac is too big use a turkey baster to siphon out the gunk from his tank.
You shouldn't need to turn of the filter for the melafix- it says it doesn't kill bacteria, but if your worried take out the carbon.
well dont do such a drastic water change because that might kill the fish. what you should do is take out the filter cartiadge because carbon will filter the medicine out of the tank. do not bother wit the aquarium salt. the debry in the tank is normal because u recently just used a gravel vac. let it settle. treat the guy wit the proper medication and try not to disturb the tank anymore because the more u disturb the tank the more the fish is going to be stressed.
You can buy bettafix at petsmart. it will cure any disease that a beta could have. Do not buy Melafix, the dosage is too big and will kill your betta.
If you do not treat it, the betta will die.
After it is treated, follow the instructions on the bottle. You will have to do a water change
Good luck
wow.. that is one filtered tank. so what's his tank temp at? a good temp range for a betta should be somewhere between 75F and 80F and holding steady. fluctuating heat is just as bad for him as too cool of water.
adding aquarium salt in the tank should help out your betta's slime coat and might make it harder for the fungus to survive. and adding products like ';cycle'; or ';betta fix'; might help your guy out. in fact bettafix is a tea tree oil based med meant specifically for bettas and helps boost their immune systems so you might try this.
do you think the tank has too much current? while he's not feeling that well it might be a good idea to slow down the turbulent waters just so he can get a break.
you could do a 100% water change but that means you will get an ammonia spike even as quickly as in 24 hrs and this may be too much for your sick betta to take! there shouldn't be anything wrong with the water if your filters are running. the carbon in the filters will clean the water right out and even take the meds out if you wanted to try some other form of medication. make sure you're not mixing meds that shouldn't be mixed. just test the water and unless there's a spike in a level where there shouldn't be... i'd leave his water alone.
good luck, it's so frustrating doing everything you can to save a fish and then just have to watch and hope.
Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
I am starting a new job within the next few days and have a problem. I am going to be working at a small clothing store for women as a lead sales rep. The dress-code is casual/semi-formal-ish, no jeans policy, and this is my problem. I noticed the female employees all wear wedge type sandals, or clothes and shoes that I would never wear in my own time. I don't like skirts, shorts, capris, tank tops or short sleeve shirts, mainly because I avoid the sun and I am not my fittest. Also, my feet sweat A LOT because I have hyperhydrosis, so naturally sandals or shoes that can't be worn with socks are extremely uncomfortable since slipping and sliding around causes friction against my toes and sides of feet. If I could I'd prefer to wear boots with a slight heel but I also have scoliosis, so standing for long periods of time becomes hard enough, let alone in heels. I almost feel contradictory working in a fashion clothing store when I am extremely conservative, wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts.
So I've been really nervous and concerned as what to do. I want to be comfortable as well as fit in with everyone else. Any suggestions or advice? I'll probably talk to the manager about it today, but was wondering if anyone else had this kind of problem as far as having sweaty feet and finding comfortable, fashionable shoes that can be worn with socks, or have a remedy for sweaty feet?
Thanks in advance!Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
My experience has showed me that the only kind of inside sole to wear when you feel sweat is one that is made from cork which is obtained from tree trunk bark.
I have used them for years and a very thin cork sole does the trick. No slipping or discomfort. You will be able to forget about your feet once you start using them.
Also the soles used in Dr. Scholl's and Birkenstock shoe wear do the same trick but are made of some other material. They are worth the investment and are top fashion health shoes. Both brand names made shoes that last for years.
I don 't know where to advise you to buy them but they are well worth looking for.
Your at work outfit could be long pants and a long sleeve shirt with a sweater vest for chilly days. I would choose either all black or all cream color which are elegant and yet fit in almost anywhere.
Please remember that you do not have to look like your clients or customers. What counts is your kind and helpful attitude towards your customers and their families (if they come along too on the shopping trip). A warm understanding smile always helps.
Good Luck in finding your shoes. The right shoes are so important.Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=32942鈥?/a>
You could wear flats with the little shear socks that you cant see under the flats
Like these
http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104鈥?/a>
You could also just slip your shoes on and off throughout the day
As for what to wear
Even though you dont like dresses or skirts you kinds have to suck it up because of the dress code
http://www.charlotterusse.com/family/ind鈥?/a>
The longer skirts on this website probable come down to the knee
Also this store has adorable dresses, tops, flats and dress pants so you could probably find something you like
=]
Well it sounds like u have a real dillima on you hands. I noticed you said theat there is a strict no PANTS pollicy. I would ask your boss if you could wear slacks. They give a nice formal but not to formal look. I would also ask if it would be possible to maybe wear a cute pair of flats (if you get straight leg or bootcut slacks they will cover you socks) like these %26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg%26amp;size=l%26amp;tid=924498
I would maybe ask if you could wear a cute shall or fitted jacket similar to this%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://cache.wists.com/thumbnails/e/c2/ec2f5bbea35cf4cf80add5c63da2cc7f-orig
I hoped this helped =D! Good Luck!
So I've been really nervous and concerned as what to do. I want to be comfortable as well as fit in with everyone else. Any suggestions or advice? I'll probably talk to the manager about it today, but was wondering if anyone else had this kind of problem as far as having sweaty feet and finding comfortable, fashionable shoes that can be worn with socks, or have a remedy for sweaty feet?
Thanks in advance!Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
My experience has showed me that the only kind of inside sole to wear when you feel sweat is one that is made from cork which is obtained from tree trunk bark.
I have used them for years and a very thin cork sole does the trick. No slipping or discomfort. You will be able to forget about your feet once you start using them.
Also the soles used in Dr. Scholl's and Birkenstock shoe wear do the same trick but are made of some other material. They are worth the investment and are top fashion health shoes. Both brand names made shoes that last for years.
I don 't know where to advise you to buy them but they are well worth looking for.
Your at work outfit could be long pants and a long sleeve shirt with a sweater vest for chilly days. I would choose either all black or all cream color which are elegant and yet fit in almost anywhere.
Please remember that you do not have to look like your clients or customers. What counts is your kind and helpful attitude towards your customers and their families (if they come along too on the shopping trip). A warm understanding smile always helps.
Good Luck in finding your shoes. The right shoes are so important.Problem with work shoes? Advice please...?
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=32942鈥?/a>
You could wear flats with the little shear socks that you cant see under the flats
Like these
http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104鈥?/a>
You could also just slip your shoes on and off throughout the day
As for what to wear
Even though you dont like dresses or skirts you kinds have to suck it up because of the dress code
http://www.charlotterusse.com/family/ind鈥?/a>
The longer skirts on this website probable come down to the knee
Also this store has adorable dresses, tops, flats and dress pants so you could probably find something you like
=]
Well it sounds like u have a real dillima on you hands. I noticed you said theat there is a strict no PANTS pollicy. I would ask your boss if you could wear slacks. They give a nice formal but not to formal look. I would also ask if it would be possible to maybe wear a cute pair of flats (if you get straight leg or bootcut slacks they will cover you socks) like these %26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg%26amp;size=l%26amp;tid=924498
I would maybe ask if you could wear a cute shall or fitted jacket similar to this%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
http://cache.wists.com/thumbnails/e/c2/ec2f5bbea35cf4cf80add5c63da2cc7f-orig
I hoped this helped =D! Good Luck!
Problem with my landlord...advice please?
ok so we have a lease until june 30th 2009.In the lease it says that my husband would help the landlord with repairs to the house and be paid $15hr and will be credited towards the trash and water bill. My husband has done $456 of work on the house and the landlord agreed to creidt us the utilities til the end of our lease. Well the landlord is now trying to get us to sign another agreement that would leave us in charge of the water bill because he hasnt paid it in 4 months. Well the water company is turning off the water friday because of this. I have topay the water bill cause we cant be without water, we have an infant in the house.
There is so much wrong with this house, there are holes in the roof and the ceiling that the landlord refuses to repair, and this is allowing rain and squirels into the house. The upstairs faucet is broken and water leaks everywhere when we run it... I could go on and on. Well ive told the landlord on so many occasions about these problems and he just says he has no money to fix it and thats it. But demands that we still pay him rent. We planning on moving but are saving up money to do so. Is there anything we can do?Problem with my landlord...advice please?
If he allowes the water to be shut off for non-payment that is constructuve eviction and illegal. Does your husband have any proof of the amount due to be credited? If so and he still does not pay the water bill, then he needs to pay your husband that amount directly.
You are legally required to pay rent till the day you move out. It is illegal to with hold rent for things needing to be fixed. If you do not pay the rent then he can legally evict you. I know you are planning on moving anyway, but you will not be able to rent another place with an eviction on your record.
It is also illegal to just move out for those issues if you have a lease. If you are breaking a lease due to lack of repairs, then it MUST be court orderd, or they could sue you for any lease break fees stated in your lease.
There is a proper procedure that must be followed in these cases.Problem with my landlord...advice please?
He is a slum landlord. Let them turn off the water. Move out. Report him to the city for renting out a unsafe residence. You will have to move , no doubt. But be buggered if he should be allowed to continue to make money on a dwelling that is not liveable. Your lease should also have in it that the landlord is suppose to supply you with water. He is reneging on that part of the agreement. Monetary compensation has to come back to you.
Why would you move into a place with that many problems.
Don't pay the water bill. Do not sign the new agreement. Call the local housing authority.
Next time, be smart and think of the consquences of all the agreements. You pretty much got screwed with your husband doing repairs.
Document everything and call a lawyer immediately. Seriously, find someone who does landlord-tenant law in the phone book. Go for a consultation and ask them what to do.
And no, sign NOTHING.
You should have moved long ago. Document all the damages, contact code enforcement and pack your things NOW.
There is so much wrong with this house, there are holes in the roof and the ceiling that the landlord refuses to repair, and this is allowing rain and squirels into the house. The upstairs faucet is broken and water leaks everywhere when we run it... I could go on and on. Well ive told the landlord on so many occasions about these problems and he just says he has no money to fix it and thats it. But demands that we still pay him rent. We planning on moving but are saving up money to do so. Is there anything we can do?Problem with my landlord...advice please?
If he allowes the water to be shut off for non-payment that is constructuve eviction and illegal. Does your husband have any proof of the amount due to be credited? If so and he still does not pay the water bill, then he needs to pay your husband that amount directly.
You are legally required to pay rent till the day you move out. It is illegal to with hold rent for things needing to be fixed. If you do not pay the rent then he can legally evict you. I know you are planning on moving anyway, but you will not be able to rent another place with an eviction on your record.
It is also illegal to just move out for those issues if you have a lease. If you are breaking a lease due to lack of repairs, then it MUST be court orderd, or they could sue you for any lease break fees stated in your lease.
There is a proper procedure that must be followed in these cases.Problem with my landlord...advice please?
He is a slum landlord. Let them turn off the water. Move out. Report him to the city for renting out a unsafe residence. You will have to move , no doubt. But be buggered if he should be allowed to continue to make money on a dwelling that is not liveable. Your lease should also have in it that the landlord is suppose to supply you with water. He is reneging on that part of the agreement. Monetary compensation has to come back to you.
Why would you move into a place with that many problems.
Don't pay the water bill. Do not sign the new agreement. Call the local housing authority.
Next time, be smart and think of the consquences of all the agreements. You pretty much got screwed with your husband doing repairs.
Document everything and call a lawyer immediately. Seriously, find someone who does landlord-tenant law in the phone book. Go for a consultation and ask them what to do.
And no, sign NOTHING.
You should have moved long ago. Document all the damages, contact code enforcement and pack your things NOW.
Problem with Family...Any Advice is appreciated?
I am 21 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. He makes me so happy and he makes me feel really good about myself and confident. He is a really good influence on me and makes me want to do well in life and be all that i can be. The only problem is my Mum. She keeps stirring up trouble between us and it has caused so many arguments in our relationship that we have broken up a couple of times because of it. It's only recently when me and my boyfriend have talked things through, that we realise where it is coming from. She will ***** about my boyfriend behind his back to me to cause arguments. I also want to marry him and have a baby with him, and she keeps lecturing me about how i should be free and single and living my life etc.She has really effed my head up about things with him in the past. She tries to make him out to be a bad person. I do love my mum, and sometimes she can be such a wonderful person, but the past few years, she has turned into somebody who has lost all sense of fun and happiness in all aspects of her life, and this has such a negative effect on me. Any advice anyone could give would be great. Thanks!Problem with Family...Any Advice is appreciated?
I think she's probably jealous because you're growing up and building a life without her. I have no doubt that she loves you and only wants the best for you so there probably a part of her that thinks she's protecting you too. It's every mother's worst nightmare when their kids start to fly the nest and there's probably a bit of that involved too. Also she's probably worried that you won't need her as much now that you're starting to build your own life. I would talk to her honestly about how you're feeling and reassure her that you'll still need her but remind her that you are a grown woman and you need to make your own mistakes in order to learn from them,it's your life. I hope this has helped a bit. Good luck and best wishes for the future xProblem with Family...Any Advice is appreciated?
your Mom feels like she is losing you to your boyfriend, talk to her and explain that you will always be her daughter and will still be her friend, but it is time for you to grow up and make your own choices, even if he is wrong for you like your mom thinks you will have to find that out for yourself! tell her these things and see if they help if not you may have to distance yourself from Mom for a while, good luck
well i think you should talk to you mom about it. Try to open up to her what you really feel about the whole situation and maybe you'll find out the reason why she is doing this things.
More than likely your mom is doing one of two things, First she's just trying to protect you or second trying you stop you from making the same mistake she made. Talk things out like adults. Don't yell and scream. Talk to her not at her. Be respectful of her place as a mother and the knowledge she has. I seriously don't think she is jealous of you. Kids don't come with a book of instructions and your all different. Parents aren't perfect neither are our kids. If you and your BF are happy that's a wonderful thing. You mention your BF past, are you OK with it? At 21 I would recommend taking your time with marriage and a baby. Get your education a good job and enjoy being young. You don't have to be free and run buck wild. Stay with your BF. Just don't rush into anything. Having good Communication with a parent is a good thing. If you are a responsible young woman and make good choices point that out to your mom. Tell her thank you because she instilled that in you. Ask her to trust in you and your judgment abilities.If she won't stop the lecturing tell her your personal life is not open to discussion. Always keep in mind that she loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt.
Good, you seems to have a rational approach that is why you want to deliberate on the issue. Now have some points to help decide take your decision?
You are only 21yrs considering an average age +75 you may assess your experience of life.
The life span you may segregate in different phases you may consider you have arrived in third phase after child and adolescence.
Even in married life different stages gives you varied experiences and you slowly learn real life.
You said your mom is sometimes a wonderful person, yes for that moment she is not engrossed with worry.
The moment she feels her responsibility as a mother towards you she becomes frustrated and her personality looses balance.
You are so possessive of your relationship in only 3 1/2 yrs just think about your mother who has carried you in her womb and have been giving all the best care and love to you.
SHE IS RIGHTLY POSSESSIVE ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO IMPRESS UPON HER YOUR MATURITY.
Physical attraction or may be called a love should have necessary and inherent potential to prove your point is right, but remember with love and agreeing only, no adamant.behavior.
Make her agree or both of you wait for right time to come.
I am sure if you both are dedicated she will accede
ask your mom as why is she reacting like this.be cool headed when doing so.try to know her points first,then keep yours.you could judge and she too that what's more important your boy friend in or out of your life.
don't be biased about your boy friend when listening to her and have pre-assumption that your mum doesn't like him.
being your mom she won't like to see you unhappy any day.so let her see your points too dear.
two of you talking is the way out I see.
I think she's probably jealous because you're growing up and building a life without her. I have no doubt that she loves you and only wants the best for you so there probably a part of her that thinks she's protecting you too. It's every mother's worst nightmare when their kids start to fly the nest and there's probably a bit of that involved too. Also she's probably worried that you won't need her as much now that you're starting to build your own life. I would talk to her honestly about how you're feeling and reassure her that you'll still need her but remind her that you are a grown woman and you need to make your own mistakes in order to learn from them,it's your life. I hope this has helped a bit. Good luck and best wishes for the future xProblem with Family...Any Advice is appreciated?
your Mom feels like she is losing you to your boyfriend, talk to her and explain that you will always be her daughter and will still be her friend, but it is time for you to grow up and make your own choices, even if he is wrong for you like your mom thinks you will have to find that out for yourself! tell her these things and see if they help if not you may have to distance yourself from Mom for a while, good luck
well i think you should talk to you mom about it. Try to open up to her what you really feel about the whole situation and maybe you'll find out the reason why she is doing this things.
More than likely your mom is doing one of two things, First she's just trying to protect you or second trying you stop you from making the same mistake she made. Talk things out like adults. Don't yell and scream. Talk to her not at her. Be respectful of her place as a mother and the knowledge she has. I seriously don't think she is jealous of you. Kids don't come with a book of instructions and your all different. Parents aren't perfect neither are our kids. If you and your BF are happy that's a wonderful thing. You mention your BF past, are you OK with it? At 21 I would recommend taking your time with marriage and a baby. Get your education a good job and enjoy being young. You don't have to be free and run buck wild. Stay with your BF. Just don't rush into anything. Having good Communication with a parent is a good thing. If you are a responsible young woman and make good choices point that out to your mom. Tell her thank you because she instilled that in you. Ask her to trust in you and your judgment abilities.If she won't stop the lecturing tell her your personal life is not open to discussion. Always keep in mind that she loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt.
Good, you seems to have a rational approach that is why you want to deliberate on the issue. Now have some points to help decide take your decision?
You are only 21yrs considering an average age +75 you may assess your experience of life.
The life span you may segregate in different phases you may consider you have arrived in third phase after child and adolescence.
Even in married life different stages gives you varied experiences and you slowly learn real life.
You said your mom is sometimes a wonderful person, yes for that moment she is not engrossed with worry.
The moment she feels her responsibility as a mother towards you she becomes frustrated and her personality looses balance.
You are so possessive of your relationship in only 3 1/2 yrs just think about your mother who has carried you in her womb and have been giving all the best care and love to you.
SHE IS RIGHTLY POSSESSIVE ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO IMPRESS UPON HER YOUR MATURITY.
Physical attraction or may be called a love should have necessary and inherent potential to prove your point is right, but remember with love and agreeing only, no adamant.behavior.
Make her agree or both of you wait for right time to come.
I am sure if you both are dedicated she will accede
ask your mom as why is she reacting like this.be cool headed when doing so.try to know her points first,then keep yours.you could judge and she too that what's more important your boy friend in or out of your life.
don't be biased about your boy friend when listening to her and have pre-assumption that your mum doesn't like him.
being your mom she won't like to see you unhappy any day.so let her see your points too dear.
two of you talking is the way out I see.
I need advice about a friends cheating problem.?
Ok. Heres whats happening: I have two friends, and they have been dating for a while. Recently, the one friend ';joe'; told me that he really didn't like ';jan'; anymore and that he was going out w/ someone else ';christie';. I felt that it would be kinda bad not to tell ';jan'; about this, and when I told her somehow the word got out to everyone. After i told ';jan';, she broke up with ';joe'; until ';joe'; was able to convince everyone that I made everything up and that he still likes ';jan';. Now, ';jan'; thinks that I lied to her and doesn't like me, and also everyone else in highschool thinks im a liar. I know that ';joe'; still likes ';christie'; and now is deciding to break up with ';jan';, but is waiting. Since I'm kind of mad that ';jan'; doesn't believe me and right now isn't talking to me, what should I do? Should I just let her find out when ';joe'; decides to break up with her? Help please!I need advice about a friends cheating problem.?
I think that this will be something she has to recognize by herself because it seemsshe doesn't believe you so you can't convince a person of something if they are not trying to hear it. You did the right thing by telling her and sometimes the right thing may not seem right to all people. Just be a friend and understand that she is more in denial then anything because when you are with someone in that way it is hard to believe what people say against that person. Forgive her for being blind and be there when she recognizes the truth. If she ever does. Good luck!I need advice about a friends cheating problem.?
I don't really get you but... you should talk to her that what you said it's real or you should try making her laugh.
Your so called friend showed her friendship toward you. Stay away from her because when he breaks up with her she will be coming back. Girls only seem to talk much or friendly when they do not have a bf. Stop hanging with girls get you something else to do because nothing but trouble in HS. You do not have to be cold--don't be available make-up reason why i can not go with you. I have something to do. As a matter of fact all those people got made at u. Not your friends. Be glad this happen to show you who your friends really are. Associates and friends!
Loose lips, sink ships....keep your mouth shut and let them work through their own issues. **** floats..and eventually....it all comes to the top............best to stay clear of it. In other words....mind your own business......cause it'll always come back to bite you in the ***!!!
You tried doing the right thing once and it backfired. There is nothing more you can do. Let nature run it's course and hope that in the end the truth will prevail.
I am sorry, this is a catch 22. Just stay out of it. If he is crepping, she will get it sooner or later. See you were trying to help her and he turns it all around on you. when it comes to other peoples relationship, just leave it alone. Sorry, she mad at you.
yeah just wait it out and let her know...when he breaks up with her... that you never wanted to hurt you just wanted her to know the truth...nothing more...and that ';joe'; is a jerk. ...that is hella rude...just stick it out and everything will go good.
U did what a good friend would do,tell the the truth about a cheat.dont worry your girlfriend would soon see joe for who he is[a liar and a cheat] and she will be sorry that she did not believe u.she will soon come crying to u and want your support.
!I think you should just tell Jan that your only trying to help, and if she doesn't appreciate it.. then fine. Otherwise you should just wait for her to find out on her own. Seeing is believing!
I think that this will be something she has to recognize by herself because it seemsshe doesn't believe you so you can't convince a person of something if they are not trying to hear it. You did the right thing by telling her and sometimes the right thing may not seem right to all people. Just be a friend and understand that she is more in denial then anything because when you are with someone in that way it is hard to believe what people say against that person. Forgive her for being blind and be there when she recognizes the truth. If she ever does. Good luck!I need advice about a friends cheating problem.?
I don't really get you but... you should talk to her that what you said it's real or you should try making her laugh.
Your so called friend showed her friendship toward you. Stay away from her because when he breaks up with her she will be coming back. Girls only seem to talk much or friendly when they do not have a bf. Stop hanging with girls get you something else to do because nothing but trouble in HS. You do not have to be cold--don't be available make-up reason why i can not go with you. I have something to do. As a matter of fact all those people got made at u. Not your friends. Be glad this happen to show you who your friends really are. Associates and friends!
Loose lips, sink ships....keep your mouth shut and let them work through their own issues. **** floats..and eventually....it all comes to the top............best to stay clear of it. In other words....mind your own business......cause it'll always come back to bite you in the ***!!!
You tried doing the right thing once and it backfired. There is nothing more you can do. Let nature run it's course and hope that in the end the truth will prevail.
I am sorry, this is a catch 22. Just stay out of it. If he is crepping, she will get it sooner or later. See you were trying to help her and he turns it all around on you. when it comes to other peoples relationship, just leave it alone. Sorry, she mad at you.
yeah just wait it out and let her know...when he breaks up with her... that you never wanted to hurt you just wanted her to know the truth...nothing more...and that ';joe'; is a jerk. ...that is hella rude...just stick it out and everything will go good.
U did what a good friend would do,tell the the truth about a cheat.dont worry your girlfriend would soon see joe for who he is[a liar and a cheat] and she will be sorry that she did not believe u.she will soon come crying to u and want your support.
!I think you should just tell Jan that your only trying to help, and if she doesn't appreciate it.. then fine. Otherwise you should just wait for her to find out on her own. Seeing is believing!
Problem With Desktop PC.... Advice Needed?
I bought a reconditioned PC base day before yesterday, and after a few hours of use it began shutting it self down, i called the person who sold me it and he came and put two new fans in it as he thought it was over heating.
He put the fans in yesterday evening, then this morning i turned the PC on and it shut down again, then when i restarted i had these messages come up on the black loading screens that come up when you first start your computer (where u enter setup)
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD FLOPPY - NOTFOUND
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD CD ROM - NOT FOUND
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD SCSI - NOT FOUND
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD NETWORK - OK
BOOT FAILURE
INSERT BOOT DISKETTE IN A:
PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE.
I do not have this diskette... I do have a recovery disc, but i have already run that and after running that i still get the same messages come up.....
While i am having these messages i am unable to load computer any further...
The reason why i am asking for help on here and not contacting the seller is that he did not seem to know what he was doing.
Can anyone help with this problem.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance.Problem With Desktop PC.... Advice Needed?
Your hard drive has crashed. take it back to the sellerProblem With Desktop PC.... Advice Needed?
Sounds like your hard drive is going bad or is corrupted for some reason.
If possible try switching with a known good hard drive to see if that's the problem. Reformat as a last option.
If not, look next to the power supply. If fan's were faulty previously it could have caused damage to power supply, hard drive and/or motherboard but let's hope this is not the case.
Good luck,
http://alex.hsgoodman.org/
http://www.computersurgeons.com/products鈥?/a>
It looks like pc could not find boot files.
Go to bios (F8) and go to boot priority and point it to your HD.
If it still does not work, you need to reinstall OS
The computer is defective take it back and get another one.
You hard drive is not being asked to boot up in the BIOS, make the change in your BIOS to boot from the hard drive.
goto bios option and go to advanced and change ur boot from option to hard disk........if it doesn't work u have to format ur system
Well DL a copy of Vista online or windows xp.
Most likely you I would try to repair the problem F10 if that does not work then try DL a copy of ur windows ... I suggest to use Torrents
go to Download.com search for bitlord version 1 .. is best
install
go to Thepiratebay.com and search for you windows ... READ COMMENTS Tells you if it work or not ... DL your version so you can use your own CDKEY, thats gonna be on the back of your PC. Then Restart pc try to repair to not loose your files.
I think is best to check your pc .
When buying a USE pc. Do you homework, or you will get headaches like this. If this doesnt work try to get you money back.
I think your Harddrive is dead.
I would either Return it back to the Idiot that sold it to you, and replace it with a Branded pc with a guarentee.
Otherwise you can ask him to Change the Harddrive with a replacement one. But make sure he doesn't screw you over by giving you another Dead drive or a smaller or slower Harddrive. Take records of what he sold you eg. 500Gb at 7,200 RPM.
If its not the defective harddrive then im 100% sure its dodgy RAM, otherwise there is some loose cabling within your computer, cheak it out yourself before giving it back, make sure all the connections are secure (especially to the harddrive, and on the motherboard)
Hope i Helped ;)acne cream
He put the fans in yesterday evening, then this morning i turned the PC on and it shut down again, then when i restarted i had these messages come up on the black loading screens that come up when you first start your computer (where u enter setup)
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD FLOPPY - NOTFOUND
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD CD ROM - NOT FOUND
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD SCSI - NOT FOUND
SEARCHING FOR BOOT RECORD NETWORK - OK
BOOT FAILURE
INSERT BOOT DISKETTE IN A:
PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE.
I do not have this diskette... I do have a recovery disc, but i have already run that and after running that i still get the same messages come up.....
While i am having these messages i am unable to load computer any further...
The reason why i am asking for help on here and not contacting the seller is that he did not seem to know what he was doing.
Can anyone help with this problem.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance.Problem With Desktop PC.... Advice Needed?
Your hard drive has crashed. take it back to the sellerProblem With Desktop PC.... Advice Needed?
Sounds like your hard drive is going bad or is corrupted for some reason.
If possible try switching with a known good hard drive to see if that's the problem. Reformat as a last option.
If not, look next to the power supply. If fan's were faulty previously it could have caused damage to power supply, hard drive and/or motherboard but let's hope this is not the case.
Good luck,
http://alex.hsgoodman.org/
http://www.computersurgeons.com/products鈥?/a>
It looks like pc could not find boot files.
Go to bios (F8) and go to boot priority and point it to your HD.
If it still does not work, you need to reinstall OS
The computer is defective take it back and get another one.
You hard drive is not being asked to boot up in the BIOS, make the change in your BIOS to boot from the hard drive.
goto bios option and go to advanced and change ur boot from option to hard disk........if it doesn't work u have to format ur system
Well DL a copy of Vista online or windows xp.
Most likely you I would try to repair the problem F10 if that does not work then try DL a copy of ur windows ... I suggest to use Torrents
go to Download.com search for bitlord version 1 .. is best
install
go to Thepiratebay.com and search for you windows ... READ COMMENTS Tells you if it work or not ... DL your version so you can use your own CDKEY, thats gonna be on the back of your PC. Then Restart pc try to repair to not loose your files.
I think is best to check your pc .
When buying a USE pc. Do you homework, or you will get headaches like this. If this doesnt work try to get you money back.
I think your Harddrive is dead.
I would either Return it back to the Idiot that sold it to you, and replace it with a Branded pc with a guarentee.
Otherwise you can ask him to Change the Harddrive with a replacement one. But make sure he doesn't screw you over by giving you another Dead drive or a smaller or slower Harddrive. Take records of what he sold you eg. 500Gb at 7,200 RPM.
If its not the defective harddrive then im 100% sure its dodgy RAM, otherwise there is some loose cabling within your computer, cheak it out yourself before giving it back, make sure all the connections are secure (especially to the harddrive, and on the motherboard)
Hope i Helped ;)
Problem with my grandson, advice?
my grandson jimmy who lives with me and my wife is ussually on a good behavior and he really isnt misbehaving, but his teacher called me and told me he needed to speak to me, and inside jimmies notebook were drawings. He drew drawings of stick figures havin sex and he makes comics with his friends during recess, but mainly he draws alot of *****, and its quite possible he is the one who drew penis's on a few desks at school, but he isnt being accused of that right now.
is this a phase? should i be worried jimmy has such a dirty mind?Problem with my grandson, advice?
I feel that if he is drawing that type of stuff in his school books then I would sit down and ask Jimmy why he is doing this sort of thing. Have the birds and the bees talk with him. That is something you do with your wife. There are so many kids these days having babies at 10 and on. Please let him know he should wait till the right time.
Let him know what's right and wrong that he shouldn't be doing that sort of thing. He might be going through some sort of peer pressure at school. If this persists take him to a Dr. and see if he can have Jimmy evaluated.Problem with my grandson, advice?
Sounds like a normal prepubecent male to me. He doesn't have a ';dirty'; mind he has the normal mind of a boy entering puberty. Obviously the teacher needs to go back to school and re do her child psychology courses, because she obviously didn't learn anything the first time around.
I think it would be normal if he was around twelve but since he's so young he had to see this somewhere, and if he was my son I would question the people who I had recently trusted him with and go from there and explain to him that at this time his focus shouldn't be on that.
No, it is not a phase! You did not say how old he is, but he is getting this information from somebody.....find out. Just curious, why did the teacher call you and not his Mom??
Depends. how old is Jimmy? If he's too young to really know about that stuff, then I would be concerned. He could have been sexually molested or someone is coaching him. If he's around that age that he's just curious, then I wouldn't be too concerned about it, however, you don need to speak to him. There are times and places where he can do things like that.
I would start off with asking him where he knows about these kinds of things, just to rule stuff out. when you are satisfied that there is nothing going on, then let him know that he can draw that stuff in his room and his room is where it will stay. You could also take him to a museum of art and show him how nudes are done tastefully. Maybe he thinks the human body is beautiful, but the only thing that's around people these days are porn and sex filled tv shows.
It's on the outer limits of normal. All boys that age think about sex ALL the time.
What to worry about:
If he's this interested in sex, he's going to take advantage of any opportunity presented to him, and I'm sure there are plenty.
I know it runs against everything we learned in proper parenting, but you need to give him unlimited access to condoms and make sure he carries a couple in his wallet at all times.
He's bound to become sexually active, and your job is to protect his health. Condoms.
TX Mom
is this a phase? should i be worried jimmy has such a dirty mind?Problem with my grandson, advice?
I feel that if he is drawing that type of stuff in his school books then I would sit down and ask Jimmy why he is doing this sort of thing. Have the birds and the bees talk with him. That is something you do with your wife. There are so many kids these days having babies at 10 and on. Please let him know he should wait till the right time.
Let him know what's right and wrong that he shouldn't be doing that sort of thing. He might be going through some sort of peer pressure at school. If this persists take him to a Dr. and see if he can have Jimmy evaluated.Problem with my grandson, advice?
Sounds like a normal prepubecent male to me. He doesn't have a ';dirty'; mind he has the normal mind of a boy entering puberty. Obviously the teacher needs to go back to school and re do her child psychology courses, because she obviously didn't learn anything the first time around.
I think it would be normal if he was around twelve but since he's so young he had to see this somewhere, and if he was my son I would question the people who I had recently trusted him with and go from there and explain to him that at this time his focus shouldn't be on that.
No, it is not a phase! You did not say how old he is, but he is getting this information from somebody.....find out. Just curious, why did the teacher call you and not his Mom??
Depends. how old is Jimmy? If he's too young to really know about that stuff, then I would be concerned. He could have been sexually molested or someone is coaching him. If he's around that age that he's just curious, then I wouldn't be too concerned about it, however, you don need to speak to him. There are times and places where he can do things like that.
I would start off with asking him where he knows about these kinds of things, just to rule stuff out. when you are satisfied that there is nothing going on, then let him know that he can draw that stuff in his room and his room is where it will stay. You could also take him to a museum of art and show him how nudes are done tastefully. Maybe he thinks the human body is beautiful, but the only thing that's around people these days are porn and sex filled tv shows.
It's on the outer limits of normal. All boys that age think about sex ALL the time.
What to worry about:
If he's this interested in sex, he's going to take advantage of any opportunity presented to him, and I'm sure there are plenty.
I know it runs against everything we learned in proper parenting, but you need to give him unlimited access to condoms and make sure he carries a couple in his wallet at all times.
He's bound to become sexually active, and your job is to protect his health. Condoms.
TX Mom
Problem with school, need advice?
Two days ago, my husband collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. I picked up my two daughters from school early (one is in preschool and the other is in first grade).
I called the school the next day and left a message saying that they wouldn't be able to come in for a few days due to a family emergency.
Today my daughter's teacher called and informed me that the children had to be in school tomorrow since a parent being in the hospital is not a valid reason for absence. This really made my head spin.
The school doesn't even know the severity of my husband's condition but, yet my children can't miss two days of school to be by their father's side? It sounded so ludicrous that I thought someone was playing a prank on me.
But, no..the teacher insisted that it was not a valid reason. I got kind of upset and voiced my displeasure (don't worry, I was not rude). Continued...Problem with school, need advice?
I would have done the same thing you did. A parent in the hospital to me is good enough reason to miss school and like you said preschool and a first grader. Come on now what are they really missing from not being in school. You have enough on your plate dealing with your husband being in the hospital. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. Trying to get them off to school and picked up from school is a problem by itself when you're trying to be there for your husband. That teacher would have received a nice earful from me also. That's none of her business to tell you what to do with your kids. I always thought as long as your child had an excuse they would be fine. I swear parents who are out here doing the right thing in life with their children receive a hard time from people. Parents who are out here letting their kids do who knows what gets nothing. Once I get time and my husband is back on his feet I would request a meeting with the teacher, the principal and whoever else wants to be involved. Make sure you get that note from the hospital for your kids absences.I send my blessings to your husband for a speedy recovery.Problem with school, need advice?
First let me start by saying that I hope your husband recovers quickly. I know that you are in a state of upheaval and turmoil right now with not knowing what is happening with your husband. I would not completely agree with the teacher, but I would say that stability is key for the kids right now. Yes they need to see their father and they need to understand that he is sick right now, but the idea of him hospitalized and (god forbid) dying is far more traumatic to kids than keeping their routine and having them stay in school. I dont' think the teacher worded things correctly for you, but ask any grief counselor and they will tell you that routine is key. Be open and honest with the girls but maintain their daily routine. To address the situation you may want to call the school administration and perhaps their counselor. I would have contacted the school and counselor and had the kids meet with the counselor and maintain their routine during the school day.
The teacher was just doing her job. Most schools have strict standards as to how many days you can have off for what reason. For example, if a relative other than parents or immediate family passes away, then the child only gets one day off of school. I'd hate to tell you to lie and say that your kids are the sick ones, but sometimes you have to when dealing with school absences.
The teacher has no place to call you like that. Only the principal does.
Keep the kids out for as long as you need to. Talk directly to the principal. Tell them about the teacher's call and how you were upset and don't appreciate it and want any contact about this from the principal.
Most schools have a policy and will be understanding in situations. I'd have just kept my children out as long as needed and threw a fit at the teacher, then called the principal.
The teacher was out of line. Only the principal can call you about that.
Take it to the school superintendent....that should shut the teacher up...good grief~ yes, you had the right to take them out of school.......blessings to you, I hope your husband is better soon......
well i have to agree with both sides... for one, a family emergancy is very much a valid reason for kids to miss school. But at the same time, if their father is fine, and just in the hospital now under observation, and isnt on life support or on his last days of survival, then there really is no need for the kids to miss school. they can visit there father after school is over. Do you really think a grade 1 or pre schooler would rather spend the 8 hours in a hospital..... Im sorry, i understand where you are coming from, and i DO think the school was ignorant telling you the kids had to be back in class, but i dont think you needed to pull them out other than the day he collapsed.
It sounds like you did absolutely the right thing. In your school handbook (if your school has one)....children are allowed a certain number of days absent before there is any concern for repeating that grade....but good heavens...in our school it is like 15 days absent. Your children were where they should have been. You are the parent and know better than the school where they should be. I wouldn't even worry about any illegal absences at this point. Has anyone ever said that they have missed a job opportunity because they were illegally absent in first grade??!!
You are NOT wrong. These are your children before they are anything. YOu are not REQUIRED to even send them to school. They could be homeschooled. I would call the district office, and, speak with the superintendent of schools. I would tell him the story and simply state that your children will not be there. Period. Tell him how inappropriate thsi teacher's conduct was, and, I would, personally, follow it up with a letter to the child's teacher, the principal of the school, the superintendent, and, the family attorney (if you have one).
I would call and speak with the principal about the situation. You have every right to have your children out of school for a couple of days for a family emergency. I would speak with the principal about how upset you are that this teacher was not more sympathetic to your situation. You could pick up your daughter's work so she doesn't get behind. I hope everything turns out ok for your husband.
Advice? Whats to advice? You got the 2 days off.
Hope your husband recovers.
The school wouldn't do anything anyway, just the teacher is an ****.
Don't bring them to school tomorrow! The teacher isn't the one that has the right to deal with this issue, it is between you and the principal. If the principal doesn't understand you need to go straight to the Board of Education.No matter what they say, do what you think is right. I for one wouldn't bring them to school until they are ready and deal with the school issue when everything is back to normal. Hopefully, someone will think about what's best for your kids.
I think perhaps the school is trying to retain a sense of normality for the children - your children will be disturbed by this anyway and breaking their routine may well upset them more - if they continue to go into school at least their days will be 'normal' and they can presumably visit after school?
Hope he gets better soon - you are obviously very distressed
I never heard of such a thing! Not a valid reason? What is a valid reason then? This teacher does not know what she is talking about! I would call the main office and ask to speak to the principal about this. I If a child's father is in the hospital, that is a valid enough reason if you ask me.
My personal opinion would be if your husband is that ill, and at the hospital, he probably has tubes, bruising, and is not in his best state, and quite honestly would not want my children to see thier father in that state. Now if he is dying, first I am so sorry, but I would allow my kids to go in and say good bye and that's about it. Adult health issues, and hospitals are not a good place for small children to be, and if you think that your 2 children are going to make your husband better by being there wake up and think about what your putting those children through. Now knowing my thoughts about children being in hospitals, I would much rather my children being in school than at the hospital with their sick dad. I think that the teacher was out of line, and very disrespectful to you and your family, and if a family emergency, (whatever anyone considers one to be) happens they should not even have the right to question what it is. Now with one of your children being in pre-school, if it's a private pre-school you may want to re read your contract most pre-schools do have some policy on how many days a child can miss school before they are no longer allowed at that school. I do hope the best for both you and your husband and good luck on this tough situation.
Ask to speak to the headmaster/mistress
You're not over-reacting.
The woman was obviously (possibly a single), very unhappy woman who was clearly not understanding a word you said.
Your husband is ill, so let your children have time off school if thats what is needed, thats for you to decide and not for some woman who has no idea of the extent of your husbands illness, or the way in which his illness could potentially impact upon your family.
I hope he recovers well.
The teacher don't have right to tell your child when to go to school or when to stay.
Few things you can do 1. Get note from doctor 2. take it to school. 3. If you will have same problem with school take it to the school district.
I stayed home from school three days because I was waiting to get internet connection school and teachers was fine with that.
So try doing these steps.
to long write sorter
I called the school the next day and left a message saying that they wouldn't be able to come in for a few days due to a family emergency.
Today my daughter's teacher called and informed me that the children had to be in school tomorrow since a parent being in the hospital is not a valid reason for absence. This really made my head spin.
The school doesn't even know the severity of my husband's condition but, yet my children can't miss two days of school to be by their father's side? It sounded so ludicrous that I thought someone was playing a prank on me.
But, no..the teacher insisted that it was not a valid reason. I got kind of upset and voiced my displeasure (don't worry, I was not rude). Continued...Problem with school, need advice?
I would have done the same thing you did. A parent in the hospital to me is good enough reason to miss school and like you said preschool and a first grader. Come on now what are they really missing from not being in school. You have enough on your plate dealing with your husband being in the hospital. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. Trying to get them off to school and picked up from school is a problem by itself when you're trying to be there for your husband. That teacher would have received a nice earful from me also. That's none of her business to tell you what to do with your kids. I always thought as long as your child had an excuse they would be fine. I swear parents who are out here doing the right thing in life with their children receive a hard time from people. Parents who are out here letting their kids do who knows what gets nothing. Once I get time and my husband is back on his feet I would request a meeting with the teacher, the principal and whoever else wants to be involved. Make sure you get that note from the hospital for your kids absences.I send my blessings to your husband for a speedy recovery.Problem with school, need advice?
First let me start by saying that I hope your husband recovers quickly. I know that you are in a state of upheaval and turmoil right now with not knowing what is happening with your husband. I would not completely agree with the teacher, but I would say that stability is key for the kids right now. Yes they need to see their father and they need to understand that he is sick right now, but the idea of him hospitalized and (god forbid) dying is far more traumatic to kids than keeping their routine and having them stay in school. I dont' think the teacher worded things correctly for you, but ask any grief counselor and they will tell you that routine is key. Be open and honest with the girls but maintain their daily routine. To address the situation you may want to call the school administration and perhaps their counselor. I would have contacted the school and counselor and had the kids meet with the counselor and maintain their routine during the school day.
The teacher was just doing her job. Most schools have strict standards as to how many days you can have off for what reason. For example, if a relative other than parents or immediate family passes away, then the child only gets one day off of school. I'd hate to tell you to lie and say that your kids are the sick ones, but sometimes you have to when dealing with school absences.
The teacher has no place to call you like that. Only the principal does.
Keep the kids out for as long as you need to. Talk directly to the principal. Tell them about the teacher's call and how you were upset and don't appreciate it and want any contact about this from the principal.
Most schools have a policy and will be understanding in situations. I'd have just kept my children out as long as needed and threw a fit at the teacher, then called the principal.
The teacher was out of line. Only the principal can call you about that.
Take it to the school superintendent....that should shut the teacher up...good grief~ yes, you had the right to take them out of school.......blessings to you, I hope your husband is better soon......
well i have to agree with both sides... for one, a family emergancy is very much a valid reason for kids to miss school. But at the same time, if their father is fine, and just in the hospital now under observation, and isnt on life support or on his last days of survival, then there really is no need for the kids to miss school. they can visit there father after school is over. Do you really think a grade 1 or pre schooler would rather spend the 8 hours in a hospital..... Im sorry, i understand where you are coming from, and i DO think the school was ignorant telling you the kids had to be back in class, but i dont think you needed to pull them out other than the day he collapsed.
It sounds like you did absolutely the right thing. In your school handbook (if your school has one)....children are allowed a certain number of days absent before there is any concern for repeating that grade....but good heavens...in our school it is like 15 days absent. Your children were where they should have been. You are the parent and know better than the school where they should be. I wouldn't even worry about any illegal absences at this point. Has anyone ever said that they have missed a job opportunity because they were illegally absent in first grade??!!
You are NOT wrong. These are your children before they are anything. YOu are not REQUIRED to even send them to school. They could be homeschooled. I would call the district office, and, speak with the superintendent of schools. I would tell him the story and simply state that your children will not be there. Period. Tell him how inappropriate thsi teacher's conduct was, and, I would, personally, follow it up with a letter to the child's teacher, the principal of the school, the superintendent, and, the family attorney (if you have one).
I would call and speak with the principal about the situation. You have every right to have your children out of school for a couple of days for a family emergency. I would speak with the principal about how upset you are that this teacher was not more sympathetic to your situation. You could pick up your daughter's work so she doesn't get behind. I hope everything turns out ok for your husband.
Advice? Whats to advice? You got the 2 days off.
Hope your husband recovers.
The school wouldn't do anything anyway, just the teacher is an ****.
Don't bring them to school tomorrow! The teacher isn't the one that has the right to deal with this issue, it is between you and the principal. If the principal doesn't understand you need to go straight to the Board of Education.No matter what they say, do what you think is right. I for one wouldn't bring them to school until they are ready and deal with the school issue when everything is back to normal. Hopefully, someone will think about what's best for your kids.
I think perhaps the school is trying to retain a sense of normality for the children - your children will be disturbed by this anyway and breaking their routine may well upset them more - if they continue to go into school at least their days will be 'normal' and they can presumably visit after school?
Hope he gets better soon - you are obviously very distressed
I never heard of such a thing! Not a valid reason? What is a valid reason then? This teacher does not know what she is talking about! I would call the main office and ask to speak to the principal about this. I If a child's father is in the hospital, that is a valid enough reason if you ask me.
My personal opinion would be if your husband is that ill, and at the hospital, he probably has tubes, bruising, and is not in his best state, and quite honestly would not want my children to see thier father in that state. Now if he is dying, first I am so sorry, but I would allow my kids to go in and say good bye and that's about it. Adult health issues, and hospitals are not a good place for small children to be, and if you think that your 2 children are going to make your husband better by being there wake up and think about what your putting those children through. Now knowing my thoughts about children being in hospitals, I would much rather my children being in school than at the hospital with their sick dad. I think that the teacher was out of line, and very disrespectful to you and your family, and if a family emergency, (whatever anyone considers one to be) happens they should not even have the right to question what it is. Now with one of your children being in pre-school, if it's a private pre-school you may want to re read your contract most pre-schools do have some policy on how many days a child can miss school before they are no longer allowed at that school. I do hope the best for both you and your husband and good luck on this tough situation.
Ask to speak to the headmaster/mistress
You're not over-reacting.
The woman was obviously (possibly a single), very unhappy woman who was clearly not understanding a word you said.
Your husband is ill, so let your children have time off school if thats what is needed, thats for you to decide and not for some woman who has no idea of the extent of your husbands illness, or the way in which his illness could potentially impact upon your family.
I hope he recovers well.
The teacher don't have right to tell your child when to go to school or when to stay.
Few things you can do 1. Get note from doctor 2. take it to school. 3. If you will have same problem with school take it to the school district.
I stayed home from school three days because I was waiting to get internet connection school and teachers was fine with that.
So try doing these steps.
to long write sorter
Problem with employer...any advice?
Having recently discovered i am pregnant i notified my manager, following company procedure. I have had to leave university as they cannot offer me enough time off come late november when my baby is due. So i asked my manager if she could please increase my hours by maybe an extra two or three days a week. I am currently on a 14.5 hr weekend contract. She refused point blank, saying that there is not enough money in the departments budget for increasing hours or adding any new employees. This is a blatant lie, as the website and staff magazine are advertising for NUMEROUS full and part time positions starting immediately in my department. I am only just three months pregnant so it is very early in the pregnancy for work to be affecting me. Is she simply refusing to increase my hours because i am pregnant- and if she is, is she legally allowed to do so or is it discrimination?Problem with employer...any advice?
noProblem with employer...any advice?
It might be becuase your pregnant - but it could also be becuase she needs people in different poisitons and doesnt see that having you around for more hours would help any.
The only thing that you could really do is apply for the postions advertised and see if you get more hours that way. she is not legally obliged to increase your hours if they would rather take on someone else.
It might not actually be discrimination but as an employer i know that it doesnt really matter.
Just write a letter saying that you are going to seek legal advice due to the fact you feel their decision was influenced by your pregnancy.
They will offer you as many hours as you like and a payrise! Now your pregnant your untouchable!
You may be able to prove discrimination if a non-pregnant employee asked for more hours and was given them. Discrimination just means being treated less well than others. You would need to show that she has refused more hours because of your condition - without being able to do that, you are in difficulty.
It's not discrimination. Your job didn't change because of the pregnancy. You are being treated the same as before you were pregnant.
You are requesting more time -- they are not obligated to give you more time simply because you need the money.
No. You not entitled to more hours and more money.
You will have a case if they CUT your hours, or sack you, but nobody ahs the right to more money and hours.
It isn't discrimination. They only need someone for a limited time period for your specific position.
sorry,fraid they can.maybe you could inquire with human resources,or even just fill out an aplication form.this would go over her head,but as long as you dont blatently rub her face in it then should be ok
if you are a member of a union then seek advice from them otherwise you will need to fight this case on your own or go to citizens advice centre
If she tells you that she will not give you additional hours because you are pregnant, then there is an issue. But since she said she can not give you additional hours due to budget reasons then there is no discrimination on her part. There could be some restrictions placed on her by the company that she can only work people a certain number of hours per week, thus they have a couple people who will work part time to get the work done. It doesn't sound like your pregnancy is an issue here and I would doubt that is the reason she is refusing your request.
noProblem with employer...any advice?
It might be becuase your pregnant - but it could also be becuase she needs people in different poisitons and doesnt see that having you around for more hours would help any.
The only thing that you could really do is apply for the postions advertised and see if you get more hours that way. she is not legally obliged to increase your hours if they would rather take on someone else.
It might not actually be discrimination but as an employer i know that it doesnt really matter.
Just write a letter saying that you are going to seek legal advice due to the fact you feel their decision was influenced by your pregnancy.
They will offer you as many hours as you like and a payrise! Now your pregnant your untouchable!
You may be able to prove discrimination if a non-pregnant employee asked for more hours and was given them. Discrimination just means being treated less well than others. You would need to show that she has refused more hours because of your condition - without being able to do that, you are in difficulty.
It's not discrimination. Your job didn't change because of the pregnancy. You are being treated the same as before you were pregnant.
You are requesting more time -- they are not obligated to give you more time simply because you need the money.
No. You not entitled to more hours and more money.
You will have a case if they CUT your hours, or sack you, but nobody ahs the right to more money and hours.
It isn't discrimination. They only need someone for a limited time period for your specific position.
sorry,fraid they can.maybe you could inquire with human resources,or even just fill out an aplication form.this would go over her head,but as long as you dont blatently rub her face in it then should be ok
if you are a member of a union then seek advice from them otherwise you will need to fight this case on your own or go to citizens advice centre
If she tells you that she will not give you additional hours because you are pregnant, then there is an issue. But since she said she can not give you additional hours due to budget reasons then there is no discrimination on her part. There could be some restrictions placed on her by the company that she can only work people a certain number of hours per week, thus they have a couple people who will work part time to get the work done. It doesn't sound like your pregnancy is an issue here and I would doubt that is the reason she is refusing your request.
I need advice on a friend/bf problem?
OK well me %26amp; my friend, Brit, like the same guy. We'll say his name is Nick. I have a boyfriend (but our relationship isnt going well at all %26amp; it seems to be near an ending point) so I let Brit have a chance at Nick. Which isn't really too fair since she's only seen him once and she lives in a diff state. (not too far away tho) Well they're going out now, and she is soo happy. It's terrible for me though because Nick's still my friend, and he hasnt been talkin to me much. I dont want them to break up, but I need a way to handle this without causing problems. They are both my best friends, and I want it to stay that way. It's just hard..I need advice on a friend/bf problem?
You and Brit should both sleep with Nick and then let him decide who he wants to be with.I need advice on a friend/bf problem?
Well i have the same problem. My BFF just got a boyfriend and now it's like i not here kind of. What i did is just sat down with her and explained what was going on and how i felt. And you know what...i worked. I know it sounds like a weird thing to do but...try it.
stay out of it. thats the only thing i can say. just keep acting normal, otherwise you could lose one, if not both of them.
All you can do is remain friends, i understand this can be hard but even if you're friend ends it with this guy you cannot make a move, or you will risk loosing her friendship, and possibly many more, not many woman feel comfortable with a person who is likely to make a move on her ex partner. Enjoy the friendship you have with these two and hopefully you will find a love of you're own. Good Luck x
Tell them how you feel.
just ask Nick what is going on. be cool. he has probably recognized your interest%26amp;or Brit has probably warn him. or both.
You and Brit should both sleep with Nick and then let him decide who he wants to be with.I need advice on a friend/bf problem?
Well i have the same problem. My BFF just got a boyfriend and now it's like i not here kind of. What i did is just sat down with her and explained what was going on and how i felt. And you know what...i worked. I know it sounds like a weird thing to do but...try it.
stay out of it. thats the only thing i can say. just keep acting normal, otherwise you could lose one, if not both of them.
All you can do is remain friends, i understand this can be hard but even if you're friend ends it with this guy you cannot make a move, or you will risk loosing her friendship, and possibly many more, not many woman feel comfortable with a person who is likely to make a move on her ex partner. Enjoy the friendship you have with these two and hopefully you will find a love of you're own. Good Luck x
Tell them how you feel.
just ask Nick what is going on. be cool. he has probably recognized your interest%26amp;or Brit has probably warn him. or both.
Problem with my girlfriend....advice from another girl?
She works her butt off going back and forth to school, and her mom is unable to do her normal stuff due to a hysterectomy so she doesnt have much money and stuff. I on the other hand I have money I can spend here and there and Christmas is approaching. Problem is, she feels so bad that I do things for her like change her oil and keep her car up and stuff. Then I do little things like buy her a cute pair of pink socks with my favorite team on them. She loves what team I go for lol. Anyway how do i, or what do I say to her to make her not feel so bad that she is very deserving of gifts that she works her butt off for? She tells me that what I do for her, like oil changes and stuff are too much anyway and I should count that as a gift. I have never had a gf I have cared so much for and one during christmas, theyve ALL been in the summer so I want to buy her nice gifts for christmas cuz ive never been able to. Just help me cuz she feels like she doesnt deserve it and she does! Thanks!Problem with my girlfriend....advice from another girl?
jsut sit her down and tell her how much she means to you and why you are doing it.
if it continues...try changing it around and doing another thing taht girls LOVE and she might appreciate more.
buy her roses or make her something. something sweet. from the heart that took effort andshell know what she means to you.
the more it is from the heart and genuine the better!Problem with my girlfriend....advice from another girl?
i can tell the general public what the hysterectomy means to all this. more then likely your girlfriend is not only doing everything she normally does but cleaning the house, doing the shopping, and taking care of mom who probley had problems pulling up her pants at one point. girlfriends mom is/or was in horrible pain. now the christmas thing....just get her some perfume or something she wont normally buy. good luck to you all. she and you seem very nice.
She is your friend. you continue to help her financially as well as morrally. She is deserving as she needs financial help.She will not ask from her mouth as her self respect and her status with you will not permit her to ask for any help from you who is her friend. I THEREFORE ADVISE YOU TO HELP HER FINANCIALLY AS WELL AS MORALLY AS THE XMAS IS APPROACHING NEXT MONTH. Good Luck.
Don't go too extravagant because she feels awkward about it already. If you can't convince her that she's worthy, that is not on you. Do you really like a girl with such a low self esteem?
Why does her mother's hysterectomy have anything to do with this?
I exactly like your gf too. My bf always pays for everything when we go out on dates and he insists on paying for anything I wish to have. And I do feel very guilty for having him always pay. I always tell him that he doesn't have to buy me anything because I really don't expect anything from him. My bf has asked me what I want for christmas and I told him that he doesn't have to give me anything, but he wants to buy me something.
Anyway, you have a great gf because she's one of those rare gfs that aren't materialistic and expect the guy to take care of her financially. Tell her that she does deserve some gifts and that you want to buy gifts for the one you love.
She is a keeper, she is not in a relationship to live off a man and she is voicing this to you very clearly, so you better feel proud to be with her! Tell her that in a relationship when one goes through hard times the other helps and tell her later you might need her help... tell her that you are not doing this to buy her love or pay for your relationship you just want her to know that if she needs help you are there for her and you know that if it were the other way around she would be willing and wanting to help you out... also tell her if she is this uncomfortable with you helping her then you won't help, even if you are dying to help, unless she asks you... and tell her that you know that someway somehow she'll end up returning the favor... If you are older and have been dating for many years and you feel like she is going to be the one,... tell her that in marriage it is a very equal relationship and they help each other out in any and everyway when the other needs the help...
Aww your a sweet dude.....thats so nice of u too bad there wasnt more guys like you...anywhoooo.....you should buy her something really special like jewelry...perfume..etc... ....she totally appreciates wut u do like oil changes etc..... so u just need to tell her that its no problem u like doing wutever u can to help its no trouble at all and that u like/love her alot so thats why u do it and u want her to have these gifts so it could be something special and meaningful ..that would have like sentimental value unlike an oil change lol ....tell her she does deserve it and that shes totally awesome cuz shes going to school and working :)
How about giving her a gift you made, card, song, or a poem. So there is no financial value attached to it, and it comes from the heart. It is something she can return without losing face or being embarrassed for being financially ... hmmmm ';practical.';
Go for walks in the park and and stuff instead of going to movies or spending tons of money on Starbucks, for example.
Talk to her... and walk her through how much you care.
Tell her you care for her, and that you would buy her flowers is she likes luxury gifts instead of pratical gifts and if that makes her feel better.. And do it. Buy her flowers, no matter her answer.
Once she trusts you, and/or doesn't feel disminished by you supporting her, she might accept your help.
Go for the long run... think how you would think if YOU were a GIRL in her position. She surely wants to prove she is independent.
And if she really declines your help, gifts and attention, just respect her will, and offer your attention only.
some people just aren't good at taking what they feel is 'charity' from other people
if you havent been together very long, she probably still feels akward about taking things from you
start with small gifts and work your way up...don't drop anything huge on her because it'll probably make her uncomfortable
I think before you give her her present, explain to her your honest feelings of how you want her to have this because it would mean alot to YOU. If she knows that she HAS to accept this for you and not so much for her, then it'll be easier.
Good luck! to you and her and her mom!
I think right now she is going through some personal things of her own. Many of us are addicted to rationalizations, feelings of not succeeding, drama, conflict, complex doing things the hard way, feeling undeserving, avoidance, denial, denial of denial, withdrawal, self sabotage. These are addictions of thought and emotion. They are habits...
She has to have self realization that she deserves whatever it is you want to give her and accept it. The problem is... it takes 30 days to make a habit and 30 days to break one... which by research would show for as long as she has developed this habit, it may take just as long to break it...
I'd have a talk with her and let her know how you feel about this bc clearly it bothers you... ask her why she feels so undeserving and see where it goes from there!!
Your gal sounds a bit like me, I was always uncomfortable with people buying me stuff and doing stuff for me. I think maybe meet her in the middle, buy her one nice gift, not obviously expensive, but obviously something you've taken great care in choosing. It's the thought that counts, not the price tag. Get her something, doesn't have to be big, that shows you ';get'; her and know what she likes. But don't go overboard cos it might make her uncomfortable.
By the way, the reason she feels bad about you doing the car stuff for her is that she probably feels like you think she's using you, or maybe that you think she's obliged, that she owes you. Maybe next time you do that for her, get her to help, make it a fun thing you are doing together.
She's a lucky girl that she has someone who cares about her like you seem to!
Good luck!
let her know what she would probably do the same if you needed it. and tell her that you're doing it because you love her and care for her.
jsut sit her down and tell her how much she means to you and why you are doing it.
if it continues...try changing it around and doing another thing taht girls LOVE and she might appreciate more.
buy her roses or make her something. something sweet. from the heart that took effort andshell know what she means to you.
the more it is from the heart and genuine the better!Problem with my girlfriend....advice from another girl?
i can tell the general public what the hysterectomy means to all this. more then likely your girlfriend is not only doing everything she normally does but cleaning the house, doing the shopping, and taking care of mom who probley had problems pulling up her pants at one point. girlfriends mom is/or was in horrible pain. now the christmas thing....just get her some perfume or something she wont normally buy. good luck to you all. she and you seem very nice.
She is your friend. you continue to help her financially as well as morrally. She is deserving as she needs financial help.She will not ask from her mouth as her self respect and her status with you will not permit her to ask for any help from you who is her friend. I THEREFORE ADVISE YOU TO HELP HER FINANCIALLY AS WELL AS MORALLY AS THE XMAS IS APPROACHING NEXT MONTH. Good Luck.
Don't go too extravagant because she feels awkward about it already. If you can't convince her that she's worthy, that is not on you. Do you really like a girl with such a low self esteem?
Why does her mother's hysterectomy have anything to do with this?
I exactly like your gf too. My bf always pays for everything when we go out on dates and he insists on paying for anything I wish to have. And I do feel very guilty for having him always pay. I always tell him that he doesn't have to buy me anything because I really don't expect anything from him. My bf has asked me what I want for christmas and I told him that he doesn't have to give me anything, but he wants to buy me something.
Anyway, you have a great gf because she's one of those rare gfs that aren't materialistic and expect the guy to take care of her financially. Tell her that she does deserve some gifts and that you want to buy gifts for the one you love.
She is a keeper, she is not in a relationship to live off a man and she is voicing this to you very clearly, so you better feel proud to be with her! Tell her that in a relationship when one goes through hard times the other helps and tell her later you might need her help... tell her that you are not doing this to buy her love or pay for your relationship you just want her to know that if she needs help you are there for her and you know that if it were the other way around she would be willing and wanting to help you out... also tell her if she is this uncomfortable with you helping her then you won't help, even if you are dying to help, unless she asks you... and tell her that you know that someway somehow she'll end up returning the favor... If you are older and have been dating for many years and you feel like she is going to be the one,... tell her that in marriage it is a very equal relationship and they help each other out in any and everyway when the other needs the help...
Aww your a sweet dude.....thats so nice of u too bad there wasnt more guys like you...anywhoooo.....you should buy her something really special like jewelry...perfume..etc... ....she totally appreciates wut u do like oil changes etc..... so u just need to tell her that its no problem u like doing wutever u can to help its no trouble at all and that u like/love her alot so thats why u do it and u want her to have these gifts so it could be something special and meaningful ..that would have like sentimental value unlike an oil change lol ....tell her she does deserve it and that shes totally awesome cuz shes going to school and working :)
How about giving her a gift you made, card, song, or a poem. So there is no financial value attached to it, and it comes from the heart. It is something she can return without losing face or being embarrassed for being financially ... hmmmm ';practical.';
Go for walks in the park and and stuff instead of going to movies or spending tons of money on Starbucks, for example.
Talk to her... and walk her through how much you care.
Tell her you care for her, and that you would buy her flowers is she likes luxury gifts instead of pratical gifts and if that makes her feel better.. And do it. Buy her flowers, no matter her answer.
Once she trusts you, and/or doesn't feel disminished by you supporting her, she might accept your help.
Go for the long run... think how you would think if YOU were a GIRL in her position. She surely wants to prove she is independent.
And if she really declines your help, gifts and attention, just respect her will, and offer your attention only.
some people just aren't good at taking what they feel is 'charity' from other people
if you havent been together very long, she probably still feels akward about taking things from you
start with small gifts and work your way up...don't drop anything huge on her because it'll probably make her uncomfortable
I think before you give her her present, explain to her your honest feelings of how you want her to have this because it would mean alot to YOU. If she knows that she HAS to accept this for you and not so much for her, then it'll be easier.
Good luck! to you and her and her mom!
I think right now she is going through some personal things of her own. Many of us are addicted to rationalizations, feelings of not succeeding, drama, conflict, complex doing things the hard way, feeling undeserving, avoidance, denial, denial of denial, withdrawal, self sabotage. These are addictions of thought and emotion. They are habits...
She has to have self realization that she deserves whatever it is you want to give her and accept it. The problem is... it takes 30 days to make a habit and 30 days to break one... which by research would show for as long as she has developed this habit, it may take just as long to break it...
I'd have a talk with her and let her know how you feel about this bc clearly it bothers you... ask her why she feels so undeserving and see where it goes from there!!
Your gal sounds a bit like me, I was always uncomfortable with people buying me stuff and doing stuff for me. I think maybe meet her in the middle, buy her one nice gift, not obviously expensive, but obviously something you've taken great care in choosing. It's the thought that counts, not the price tag. Get her something, doesn't have to be big, that shows you ';get'; her and know what she likes. But don't go overboard cos it might make her uncomfortable.
By the way, the reason she feels bad about you doing the car stuff for her is that she probably feels like you think she's using you, or maybe that you think she's obliged, that she owes you. Maybe next time you do that for her, get her to help, make it a fun thing you are doing together.
She's a lucky girl that she has someone who cares about her like you seem to!
Good luck!
let her know what she would probably do the same if you needed it. and tell her that you're doing it because you love her and care for her.
Problem with landlord/brother...advice?
On April 1st I went up to tell my brotehr and sister in law..who are also my landlords...I have the basement apartment in their home...that I was gonna start looking for a place
she told me take my time..that she prolly wanted to keep the basement for themselves or rent it out to her friend or if they had to..a stranger which she said she wouldnt really want.
So when I found my new apt. last weekend for May 1 I went happy to share the news to them and she got mad. She said she didnt take me going up there as the 30 days notice and now she wants to take when I found the apartment as 30 days from there and wants me to pay the rent for May even if Im not living there.
ANd she wants me to sign a paper agreeing to this.
Whats your opinion?Problem with landlord/brother...advice?
Did you sign some type of lease with them? If not, they cant legally do it. But if you verbally agreed to it..they can take you to court. She CAN NOT make you sign anything..it sounds like you never signed a lease with them,,b.c had you signed some type of lease..it would of stated in the lease that you must give a 30 day notice. Legally you gave her a notice..its not like you picked up and left with out letting them know. Maybe you can pay them a prorated amount for the month of May?
I would just hold off another month before moving out just so you dont burn bridges with family.
Or talk to your brother about this if his wife is the one thats coming down on you regarding the situation.Problem with landlord/brother...advice?
30 days notice spanning one full rental period is pretty much universally standard. You're liable for the rent for May or until they secure a new tenant.
Although they are legally obligated to make a reasonable effort to secure a new tenant to mitigate your losses, most courts have held that 60 days is sufficient time to secure a new tenant so even if they choose to not let out the basement again you probably won't prevail on that issue.
It doesn't matter that you are related to the landlord.
Since it's family I find it a bit mean that they would ask you to pay May rent, but by law you have to give 30 days written notice to your landlord and they can hold you to those termsacne cream
she told me take my time..that she prolly wanted to keep the basement for themselves or rent it out to her friend or if they had to..a stranger which she said she wouldnt really want.
So when I found my new apt. last weekend for May 1 I went happy to share the news to them and she got mad. She said she didnt take me going up there as the 30 days notice and now she wants to take when I found the apartment as 30 days from there and wants me to pay the rent for May even if Im not living there.
ANd she wants me to sign a paper agreeing to this.
Whats your opinion?Problem with landlord/brother...advice?
Did you sign some type of lease with them? If not, they cant legally do it. But if you verbally agreed to it..they can take you to court. She CAN NOT make you sign anything..it sounds like you never signed a lease with them,,b.c had you signed some type of lease..it would of stated in the lease that you must give a 30 day notice. Legally you gave her a notice..its not like you picked up and left with out letting them know. Maybe you can pay them a prorated amount for the month of May?
I would just hold off another month before moving out just so you dont burn bridges with family.
Or talk to your brother about this if his wife is the one thats coming down on you regarding the situation.Problem with landlord/brother...advice?
30 days notice spanning one full rental period is pretty much universally standard. You're liable for the rent for May or until they secure a new tenant.
Although they are legally obligated to make a reasonable effort to secure a new tenant to mitigate your losses, most courts have held that 60 days is sufficient time to secure a new tenant so even if they choose to not let out the basement again you probably won't prevail on that issue.
It doesn't matter that you are related to the landlord.
Since it's family I find it a bit mean that they would ask you to pay May rent, but by law you have to give 30 days written notice to your landlord and they can hold you to those terms
Problem teenage son...need advice?
So, without going into too many details, I need advice on how to deal with an unruly 13 (almost 14) year old boy. When he's good he's a joy to be around, but when he doesn't get what he wants or when things don't go his way he's completey disrespectful to everyone around him, including me. Today, for instance, he was supposed to be outside for the bus at 8:45, because he has counceling every Thursday. The bus driver calls me and tells me he's not out there, and she can't wait for him anymore. I call the house, and he's not even out of bed. He says things like ';I wish someone would just kill me'; or ';my life is miserable, I'm a bad person'; and I try not to let it get to me because I know, for the most part, that he's trying to get attention. I've tried talking to him as an adult, explaining to him how his actions affect those around him, he doesn't listen. I've tried yelling at him, he shuts down. I've tried ignoring him, he gets louder, to the point where I physically want to harm him, just to shut him up. I know, that's a horrible thing to say about my own son, but I also know that I am not the only one who has thought that. Please, anyone who has gone thru this, will you give me some advice? Or tell me that it'll get better? Is it hormones? I don't know what to do with him, or how to deal with him. I'm about ready to crack. I'm a single mother, but we live with a friend of mine who is like a mother to me, and has taken over the Grandmother role with him, and he treats her just as bad as he treats me.Problem teenage son...need advice?
Talk to the counselor you have in place.The services of a psychiatrist may be needed as may medication. There may being a local public mental health agency you can use.
Make sure someone is there to put him on the bus and provide him supervision when you can't if at all possible.
Talk to the school counselor to see if they have the same problem. They can put services in place for him there if they are having behavioral issue through a Federal 504 or IEP Plan.
Be firm and consistent with your home rules and discipline.
The Juvenile Court System can be accessed if needed by contacting the local police or court office and filing a report of a child in need of supervision. If a child gets too far out of control the Juvenile Courts can help sometimes by just having to go in front of a judge or other services which could include placement in a behavioral facility.
Seek counseling from some one for yourself so to maintain a clear perspective, from a local minister, rabbi, counseling agency, work resource what ever you are comfortable with.Problem teenage son...need advice?
Not to be old Fashion, but i believe a good butt whipping don't hurt well only for a moment.=-) But i also believe he is going through a phase but he will get over it eventually... Also as the mother you need to show him who runs the house because the way it sounds is that he didn't give a care. So just show him you don't tolerate that nonsenses!!!!
It is not hormones. When people use that as an excuse it is a crock. I have raised plenty of boys into young men. Not one hid or pouted in their rooms. I meant business and they knew it. He needs a father figure. Take him to church or something.
EDIT* who is Casey?????
You should read Dr. James Dobson's book ';The Strong Willed Child'; immediately. In the meantime, watch Super Nanny or Nanny 911, they have many good tips on how to set rules %26amp; enforce them without damaging your child's self-esteem.
Bad kids are usually the product of bad parenting skills
You said he was almost fourteen . Maybe for his birthday get him an instrument . Talk to him about which one he would like . My mom bought me a set of drums for my twelfth birthday . I love them . I can really release my anger into a simple drum beat .
Sorry, but it sounds like you need professional help. His talking about being a ';bad person'; etc isn't just ';attention'; getting behavior. Most all teens are troublesome at this age, but this is beyond that. Get help.
Am his age too, i say he just is evolving, he wants attention and care and stuff, to feel dominance, don't worry, he will stop doing that after a while, when he got enough of those stuff
Yes it's largely hormones. No don't ignore suicidal talk. Enroll him in sports. Vigorous activity will work ten times as well as the best therapist
I believe you could use some help from a family psychologist. Before someone really does something stupid...
Give him two two slaps to him backside. Di pickney nar wan fi sekkle... Headfeavaaaa.
He's already in counseling? Instead of talking to the counselor to get some ideas your asking us?
Good luck
He is a young teenage boy, most of them are like that. It will get better as he gets older.
find many different counselors and try to find one that works for him. good luck
I am not a mother but my little brother was the exact same way when he was that age. He is my step brother so he treated my mom and my brothers and sisters like crap because he thought we stole his father who I consider to be my real father because mine is crap. Anyways, the only thing my parents could do was send him to live with his grandparents in another state because he began to physically harm me and my sister and my mother. When they sent him there it only got worse. He is 21 now and sitting in prison. I know that is a scary thing to tell you but I am just letting you know that you need to send him to a better counselor or psychiatrist before it gets a lot worse. I wouldn't yell at him or hit him because that will only make it worse. You need to be calm with him and even though he fights you on it, don't give up. Hopefully he will see that it is hurting you and he will change. I really hope everything works out for you and it gets better.
aww... i really feel for you.. i know it must be hard being a single mother to begin with... and your feelings of anger and frustration are completely normal and expected from a parent of a teenager, especially the rebellious kind. You neednt feel guilty for it coz it doesnt mean you don love your son. U should understand that it's actions that you are angry at, which is obviously how anyone would react. Frankly, i'm not too sure how best to handle your son but i suggest u continue hav him see a counsellor. First of all, have you wondered why he dint want to get up this morning and go? could it be that he dislikes the counselling? Maybe you and your son could try going for counselling together, that way you could learn the coping skills as a parent.
Dont you worry, it's normal (that doesnt mean its easy or pleasant i know) for teenage boys to act this way. Hang in there...
Deep down he's probably pissed that dads not around (even if its sometimes its not the same) my daughter is 9 and hates that her biological dad is not always there step dads and boyfriends arent the same. I wish u the best and can only say that I have been told by the drs my daughter has seen that I can NOT let her manipulate me or anyone else and that there has to be consequnces and consistancy. which I know from my own battles that it is hard. We our kids hurt we want to fix them and quick but the truth of the matter is that there is no quick fix for us or them. It takes time, I spent 6 weeks (two times each week ) in counciling with my daughter and it did help. But its a huge commitment, and u have be all in, all the time:) Good Luck.
Have you tried Big Brothers? They are wonderful about finding a male mentor. Since he doesn't have a man to show him how to be respectful he hasn't learned it. Also, PAL police athletic league. Mom, this is probably killing you. You must keep trying or God knows how you will put up with it. Chances are good it will get worse unless something changes. Call, beg, scream do whatever you need to but get a strong guy role model for this kid.
There is something more than what you can see going on, And let me tell you, if my mom talked about me like this, then I would be a disrespctful child also.
Maybe you should take a step back and remember who you are talking about. This is your baby and you have raised him.
Maybe he has something going on and instead of you trying to figure it out, you chalk it up to him being disrespectful. Maybe he feels disrespected.
I think you need to talk to your son, not at him. I think you should listen to him instead of ignore him. And I dont think you should call him names.
Is he an only child? A lot of times this can be caused by being overshadowed by another sibling. He may feel inferior to the other child and feel as if you love the other more than you love him. If this isn't the case, then I believe this may just be a phase. Kids always try their best to be noticed by their parents. Maybe you work a lot and he isn't spending enough time with you or hasn't spent enough time throughout the course of his life. Maybe he doesn't have a lot of friends at school or gets picked on, but It will all get better once he makes a few friends. Puberty may be hitting him hard also. Girl troubles can be a big problem and girls can make boys say and do some stupid things, especially at a young age. Keep being firm with him and he will eventually back down, as long as you are not spoiling him or letting him do whatever he wants then this has nothing to do with you. Some kids just go through this, but it will get better. It may get worse before it gets better, but I PROMISE it will be better.
It does take time,
Infact it takes a lot of time...
Tell your son that you care, reassure him, if you ignore him and shout, he'd just get worse.
Talk to him about why he hates his life, and try to deal with his problems, ask him stuff he'd like to be asked about.
You know the kids nowadays, their never satisfied, and they love being 'cool', and well, harmones...
GOOD LUCK!
Any chance he'd go for joining an acting group, or sports or something to keep him busy? In my experience, having clear rules and consequences works as long as the adults are consistent. If you don't get to school on time - no wii/xbox/whatever. From what u said he sounds like hes spoiled %26amp; manipulative. Yelling never worked for us. Just tell him the rules %26amp; consequences. And when u start enforcing, he will blow up so be prepared to remind him that's not acceptable, quietly, %26amp; walk away till he calms down. Is he getting enough mental health counseling? Is his therapist a good one? Bad therapists are a waste of time. I would avoid getting the law involved, social services, etc. Their answer to problemed kids is to lock them up with other - much worse - kids, where they learn all kinds of bad behaviors %26amp; tricks of the trade. Trust me, it's not a path u want your son to take. Good luck.
well i can tell you now that ignoring him will make him louder because he has feelings and your not giving him the chance to express himself! and he is a TEENAGER have you not noticed that teens just want have fun and live? yelling at him won't help either. he probably treats everyone exactly the way you treat him so listen to him don't yell at him and seriously don't call crap like that!! kdjlgajwe
if you asked me your the one you should be worrying about!
Well you have a small problem in that what he needs to learn right now he must learn from a Man, for his brain is hardwired to ignore Women for the most part right now. Part of puberty is rejecting Mom and finding a Mate.
There are groups like parents without partners, Big Brothers, The Boy Scouts, and sometimes just Sports in general, but until he spends some time with a Mature Man, and not some older boy who never grew up himself, you will have these problems with a Teen-age Man. A book that might help you understand is, ';Iron John';, by Robert Bly.
This culture has no right of passage into adulthood except a drivers license and divorce... there are some groups that help young Men deal with Anger, Fear, Insecurity, Failure, and Self Image. He is out growing being your little Boy... regardless if this is how you treat him or not.
Without outside help, this problem will take 4 to 7 years to get better, and with the help of a Mentor for your Son the problem will start becoming bearable in as little as 21 days.
ME!
.
He needs something. Find out what that is. Maybe he wants to be a writer, teacher, musician, underwater basket weaver. Who knows, but figure out what he wants to do to give his life some purpose and do everything you can to promote and encourage it.
Make sure your are attacking the right problem. Don't keep trying to mop the floor when you have a leaky pipe!
you need to be strick with him. reward and punish kind of thing. he does something bad take a way a privilege and if he reacts badly take away another thing. if he dares say something disrespectful send him to his room for an hour if he reuses grab him by the collar and get in his face and even show your teeth [like dogs--it shows that your not messing around, you mean business] deepen your voice and just tell him he is being a little asshole and needs to straighten out or he will go to his room.
it's hard to deal kids who won't listen and are disrespectful.
kudos for not beating him though lol
my son pulls that crap and he's 10....well not the getting up for the bus stuff but 1 little thing goes wrong and hes all....my life is horrible, today was the worst day ever...he even went so far as to ask his little brother to go get him a knife so he could kill himself...I'm in the same boat as you, some days I just want to strangle him. I walk away. I'll refuse to do anything for him the rest of the day, I'll ignore him. Most of the time he'll start to feel bad for what he did and come and apologize. I'm in the process of getting him a counselor....if he won't talk to me he can go talk to someone else.
Talk to the counselor you have in place.The services of a psychiatrist may be needed as may medication. There may being a local public mental health agency you can use.
Make sure someone is there to put him on the bus and provide him supervision when you can't if at all possible.
Talk to the school counselor to see if they have the same problem. They can put services in place for him there if they are having behavioral issue through a Federal 504 or IEP Plan.
Be firm and consistent with your home rules and discipline.
The Juvenile Court System can be accessed if needed by contacting the local police or court office and filing a report of a child in need of supervision. If a child gets too far out of control the Juvenile Courts can help sometimes by just having to go in front of a judge or other services which could include placement in a behavioral facility.
Seek counseling from some one for yourself so to maintain a clear perspective, from a local minister, rabbi, counseling agency, work resource what ever you are comfortable with.Problem teenage son...need advice?
Not to be old Fashion, but i believe a good butt whipping don't hurt well only for a moment.=-) But i also believe he is going through a phase but he will get over it eventually... Also as the mother you need to show him who runs the house because the way it sounds is that he didn't give a care. So just show him you don't tolerate that nonsenses!!!!
It is not hormones. When people use that as an excuse it is a crock. I have raised plenty of boys into young men. Not one hid or pouted in their rooms. I meant business and they knew it. He needs a father figure. Take him to church or something.
EDIT* who is Casey?????
You should read Dr. James Dobson's book ';The Strong Willed Child'; immediately. In the meantime, watch Super Nanny or Nanny 911, they have many good tips on how to set rules %26amp; enforce them without damaging your child's self-esteem.
Bad kids are usually the product of bad parenting skills
You said he was almost fourteen . Maybe for his birthday get him an instrument . Talk to him about which one he would like . My mom bought me a set of drums for my twelfth birthday . I love them . I can really release my anger into a simple drum beat .
Sorry, but it sounds like you need professional help. His talking about being a ';bad person'; etc isn't just ';attention'; getting behavior. Most all teens are troublesome at this age, but this is beyond that. Get help.
Am his age too, i say he just is evolving, he wants attention and care and stuff, to feel dominance, don't worry, he will stop doing that after a while, when he got enough of those stuff
Yes it's largely hormones. No don't ignore suicidal talk. Enroll him in sports. Vigorous activity will work ten times as well as the best therapist
I believe you could use some help from a family psychologist. Before someone really does something stupid...
Give him two two slaps to him backside. Di pickney nar wan fi sekkle... Headfeavaaaa.
He's already in counseling? Instead of talking to the counselor to get some ideas your asking us?
Good luck
He is a young teenage boy, most of them are like that. It will get better as he gets older.
find many different counselors and try to find one that works for him. good luck
I am not a mother but my little brother was the exact same way when he was that age. He is my step brother so he treated my mom and my brothers and sisters like crap because he thought we stole his father who I consider to be my real father because mine is crap. Anyways, the only thing my parents could do was send him to live with his grandparents in another state because he began to physically harm me and my sister and my mother. When they sent him there it only got worse. He is 21 now and sitting in prison. I know that is a scary thing to tell you but I am just letting you know that you need to send him to a better counselor or psychiatrist before it gets a lot worse. I wouldn't yell at him or hit him because that will only make it worse. You need to be calm with him and even though he fights you on it, don't give up. Hopefully he will see that it is hurting you and he will change. I really hope everything works out for you and it gets better.
aww... i really feel for you.. i know it must be hard being a single mother to begin with... and your feelings of anger and frustration are completely normal and expected from a parent of a teenager, especially the rebellious kind. You neednt feel guilty for it coz it doesnt mean you don love your son. U should understand that it's actions that you are angry at, which is obviously how anyone would react. Frankly, i'm not too sure how best to handle your son but i suggest u continue hav him see a counsellor. First of all, have you wondered why he dint want to get up this morning and go? could it be that he dislikes the counselling? Maybe you and your son could try going for counselling together, that way you could learn the coping skills as a parent.
Dont you worry, it's normal (that doesnt mean its easy or pleasant i know) for teenage boys to act this way. Hang in there...
Deep down he's probably pissed that dads not around (even if its sometimes its not the same) my daughter is 9 and hates that her biological dad is not always there step dads and boyfriends arent the same. I wish u the best and can only say that I have been told by the drs my daughter has seen that I can NOT let her manipulate me or anyone else and that there has to be consequnces and consistancy. which I know from my own battles that it is hard. We our kids hurt we want to fix them and quick but the truth of the matter is that there is no quick fix for us or them. It takes time, I spent 6 weeks (two times each week ) in counciling with my daughter and it did help. But its a huge commitment, and u have be all in, all the time:) Good Luck.
Have you tried Big Brothers? They are wonderful about finding a male mentor. Since he doesn't have a man to show him how to be respectful he hasn't learned it. Also, PAL police athletic league. Mom, this is probably killing you. You must keep trying or God knows how you will put up with it. Chances are good it will get worse unless something changes. Call, beg, scream do whatever you need to but get a strong guy role model for this kid.
There is something more than what you can see going on, And let me tell you, if my mom talked about me like this, then I would be a disrespctful child also.
Maybe you should take a step back and remember who you are talking about. This is your baby and you have raised him.
Maybe he has something going on and instead of you trying to figure it out, you chalk it up to him being disrespectful. Maybe he feels disrespected.
I think you need to talk to your son, not at him. I think you should listen to him instead of ignore him. And I dont think you should call him names.
Is he an only child? A lot of times this can be caused by being overshadowed by another sibling. He may feel inferior to the other child and feel as if you love the other more than you love him. If this isn't the case, then I believe this may just be a phase. Kids always try their best to be noticed by their parents. Maybe you work a lot and he isn't spending enough time with you or hasn't spent enough time throughout the course of his life. Maybe he doesn't have a lot of friends at school or gets picked on, but It will all get better once he makes a few friends. Puberty may be hitting him hard also. Girl troubles can be a big problem and girls can make boys say and do some stupid things, especially at a young age. Keep being firm with him and he will eventually back down, as long as you are not spoiling him or letting him do whatever he wants then this has nothing to do with you. Some kids just go through this, but it will get better. It may get worse before it gets better, but I PROMISE it will be better.
It does take time,
Infact it takes a lot of time...
Tell your son that you care, reassure him, if you ignore him and shout, he'd just get worse.
Talk to him about why he hates his life, and try to deal with his problems, ask him stuff he'd like to be asked about.
You know the kids nowadays, their never satisfied, and they love being 'cool', and well, harmones...
GOOD LUCK!
Any chance he'd go for joining an acting group, or sports or something to keep him busy? In my experience, having clear rules and consequences works as long as the adults are consistent. If you don't get to school on time - no wii/xbox/whatever. From what u said he sounds like hes spoiled %26amp; manipulative. Yelling never worked for us. Just tell him the rules %26amp; consequences. And when u start enforcing, he will blow up so be prepared to remind him that's not acceptable, quietly, %26amp; walk away till he calms down. Is he getting enough mental health counseling? Is his therapist a good one? Bad therapists are a waste of time. I would avoid getting the law involved, social services, etc. Their answer to problemed kids is to lock them up with other - much worse - kids, where they learn all kinds of bad behaviors %26amp; tricks of the trade. Trust me, it's not a path u want your son to take. Good luck.
well i can tell you now that ignoring him will make him louder because he has feelings and your not giving him the chance to express himself! and he is a TEENAGER have you not noticed that teens just want have fun and live? yelling at him won't help either. he probably treats everyone exactly the way you treat him so listen to him don't yell at him and seriously don't call crap like that!! kdjlgajwe
if you asked me your the one you should be worrying about!
Well you have a small problem in that what he needs to learn right now he must learn from a Man, for his brain is hardwired to ignore Women for the most part right now. Part of puberty is rejecting Mom and finding a Mate.
There are groups like parents without partners, Big Brothers, The Boy Scouts, and sometimes just Sports in general, but until he spends some time with a Mature Man, and not some older boy who never grew up himself, you will have these problems with a Teen-age Man. A book that might help you understand is, ';Iron John';, by Robert Bly.
This culture has no right of passage into adulthood except a drivers license and divorce... there are some groups that help young Men deal with Anger, Fear, Insecurity, Failure, and Self Image. He is out growing being your little Boy... regardless if this is how you treat him or not.
Without outside help, this problem will take 4 to 7 years to get better, and with the help of a Mentor for your Son the problem will start becoming bearable in as little as 21 days.
ME!
.
He needs something. Find out what that is. Maybe he wants to be a writer, teacher, musician, underwater basket weaver. Who knows, but figure out what he wants to do to give his life some purpose and do everything you can to promote and encourage it.
Make sure your are attacking the right problem. Don't keep trying to mop the floor when you have a leaky pipe!
you need to be strick with him. reward and punish kind of thing. he does something bad take a way a privilege and if he reacts badly take away another thing. if he dares say something disrespectful send him to his room for an hour if he reuses grab him by the collar and get in his face and even show your teeth [like dogs--it shows that your not messing around, you mean business] deepen your voice and just tell him he is being a little asshole and needs to straighten out or he will go to his room.
it's hard to deal kids who won't listen and are disrespectful.
kudos for not beating him though lol
my son pulls that crap and he's 10....well not the getting up for the bus stuff but 1 little thing goes wrong and hes all....my life is horrible, today was the worst day ever...he even went so far as to ask his little brother to go get him a knife so he could kill himself...I'm in the same boat as you, some days I just want to strangle him. I walk away. I'll refuse to do anything for him the rest of the day, I'll ignore him. Most of the time he'll start to feel bad for what he did and come and apologize. I'm in the process of getting him a counselor....if he won't talk to me he can go talk to someone else.
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