Is there any body there could advice me to where I can find money to solve my financial problem ...?

I am single but I am in trouble most of time for financial problem...a second eldest and support 6 siblings left by parents...my father died and my mother left us and no where else to go....I want to settle down( 30yrs old) and make my own family but my conscience bugging me of not do so at this time....I sent my sibling schools so i support them all and sometimes i forgot my needs and necessities in life..advise me pleaseIs there any body there could advice me to where I can find money to solve my financial problem ...?
Go in search for a financial advisor (in local community).





You could also try to make some money on the side of your job!





Take a look on http://www.moneyaside.com They have some articles about this. No Tricks Just TipsIs there any body there could advice me to where I can find money to solve my financial problem ...?
Since you are 30 your siblings must be starting to grow up, make sure you stop supporting them as soon as they are old enough to be on their own. If you are in the United States they should be getting SS survivors until they are 18 maybe 23 if they are full time students. Sue your mother for child support if she can be found. Don't worry someday they will all be grown and the burden will lessen as each one grows up even after about 15 they can start to earn some money so lean on you less.

facial

I have a problem with my neighbors? Advice?

I live across the hall from two male retirees, who live in separate apartments. Well, it appears that they both were in the Navy or something because the swearing is incessant! The air is practically blue with their foul talk. Anyway, late last night I awoke to a bunch of loud laughter and swearing and I looked out of my peephole. There they were, 9:30 at night, chasing each other up and down the hall in their electric mobility chairs. Just as loud as you please! Today, my friend Phyllis and I went down to the Manager to complain, but the manager said there was little that could be done because the incident didn't occur during the 11:00pm - 5:00am time frame.





I am tired and cranky from the lack of sleep and I can't afford to move. What should I do??I have a problem with my neighbors? Advice?
I know a good mechanic, Slippery Pete, that can teach you how to locate and cut the break wire on just about every make and model of electric wheelchair.I have a problem with my neighbors? Advice?
Thanks Miss Whitney.

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It's hard to put up with neighbors who don't live on the same schedule as you do, that's for sure. Since moving is not an option--here are two pieces of advice I have for you:





-get a set of reusable ear plugs so you can fall asleep, make sure they are nice comfy ones that you can wear without bother





-buy a $10 white noise machine by Homedics at either Wal-Mart or Target, it has an adjustable volume, and it will drown out any of their shenanigans!!
The management company is suppose to take care of any tenant problem even after hour even if it is the next day. You can contact your housing board to find out the responsibilities for management.





I know what you mean, but our problem is the children and no matter how much I complain during the day, nothing is done. We are getting ready to move this next month.
i dont know what large city you are near but call social security and access the americans with disabilities or similar office near you see if the curfew for loudness is being violated ..it is the supers responsibility to make them aware they are disturbing you..could someone move to another floor? Just a thought..good luck
hi evelyn . does this happen all the time or maybe they were just celebrating an event ? have you and your friend thought to speak to one of the men when they are alone ? that may help if you appeal to him on a one to one basis . good luck and i feel for your lack of sleep . d.
What are you? Jealous or something?





Get out there and join in!!! Life's too short to miss out on a bit of fun and that's what they are doing, having fun...... 9.30 pm???





If you have the fun, then you will sleep better and not be so tired and cranky.
Well you do not have to get up early, just put cotton in your ears. Have you forgotten, 9:30 pm is still VERY early for some people, not everyone goes to bed with the chickens and birds. They have aright to have some fun, I would not like the cussing either however.
Try and get the manager to meet with all of you and discuss what is going on.Your manager is wrong disturbing others peace is wrong.you can all ways complain to the police if you are willing to file a complaint.
If you can't beat them join them. The mobility chair races sound like fun.Maybe they would consider moving the time back, so more people could join in. LIghten up Chill. It was not past curfew time. Just a couple of guy's having some fun.



Sounds like fun over there to me Evelyn...they will tire of it! if not... Ten points to you, to the first guy you spray with the kitchen hose when they roll pass LOL! that will give them a laugh, or a shock of their lives!!!!
The best thing is to talk to them. Ask for their help. Explain that the noise keeps you awake and you have to work. If your polite and friendly the may just keep it down.
You could have a party and give them a touch of their own game, make sure your party is in the morning when they are sleeping.
So sorry to hear what your going through, I went through it as well I just kept on calling the police until they told the children who refused to grow up to stop their carry on.
Get a 2x4 four feet long for each apartment, screw each board into the door placed across the door jam when both ';gentlemen'; are in...let them out in the morning.
Well, I would say that you could probably expect the same thing to happen tonight. Put in some ear plugs or turn on the bathroom fan so it drowns out the noise.
Did you ever see the old movie ';Kiss of Death';? in one scene he shoves an old lady in a wheel chair down a flight of stairs. enough said.
Get yo broom and get out in the hall and beat the daylights out of them.
Thats cute, their jjust having fun.


Their old and are going to die soon. Let them live life and stop being such a jerk.
Get your own chair and a broom and go after them
wel you could bake than some cookees and while taking them over slash there tires!!!
Just walk right into the hall and yell, Hey, what y'all doing? Get back to bed and make it snappy! DO YOU HEAR ME?
when you know is going to be a noisy evening for you; get some ear plugs, take a hot bath, make some hot chocolate and go to bed. let them have their fun; beside there is nothing anybody can do; they are within the rules.


have you ever thought of inviting them for some hot coco and some conversation; if you can't fight them, join them.








p/s i just thought of something this A.M. get your Bible out and start preaching to them.


REPENT,REPENT, REPENT. without repenting you can't inherit the Kingdom of GOD Ask God for forgiveness REPENT. start reading!!!!!that will scare the pants out of them.
I think your landlord is a wuss. He does have the right to set standards. Would he let kids ride bikes or skateboard around the halls like that? What they're doing sounds dangerous, he should stop it on that account. My dad was an amputee, those chairs can tuern over. He could even loose his building's insurance for allowing such behavior. Also would he let kids cuss up a storm? Most communities have laws against obscene language. As for the 11:00-5:00 timeframe, did you ever call the police to check that out? Many cities have 24 hour laws against unnecessary noise. My hometown does.


Find out the laws and have another talk with the landlord. If he still refuses to do anything, tell him if you get hurt you will sue. ';Lawsuit'; is a magic word in this country. And don't be bothered by the people who called you names like ';jerk';. Name callers are the jerks.
Gee, no wonder you're so tired.The manager should have spoken to the two men just the same because your friend %26amp; you both complained. I would think that the flying electric mobility chairs would be a safety hazard for those who would be trying to walk up %26amp; down the hallway. I once lived in an apartment complex when I first got my divorce %26amp; had to put up with my neighbor's loud tv, just as I was crawling into bed at night. I complained to the manager %26amp; he spoke to the tenant. Unfortunately, the tenant was deaf %26amp; had to keep the volume up in order to hear his tv. The headboard of my bed was on his living room wall where his tv was. It wasn't possible to put my bed in another location in my bedroom. So, I bought a box fan, aimed it into the bathroom just off my bedroom, turned the fan on high, %26amp; crawled into bed. That did the trick %26amp; I was able to fall asleep to the sound of the fan %26amp; not a tv. Try it %26amp; see if it helps. Put the fan in the doorway of your bedroom facing into another room. Good luck! If that doesn't work, bake the men some cookies, laced with ExLax, %26amp; I guarantee, it'll keep them out of the hallway. Just kidding about the cookies. ~lol~





**I like your picture. Is that you? **
Your manager is full of baloney. These two are in the public eye, disturbing the public and surely the tenants and the guests, the public. Tell this to the manager.


Either he do something about these two or, the next time this happens and, if you keep hearing these to you will take matters into your own hands and call the police and lodge a complaint.


It would be good to find out who is the buildings owners and call them or, drop their names to the manager, to let him know, you know who his boss is. I think this will help results, there is no hours when it comes to a public nuisance, especially when it's a foul mouth. Maybe he's afraid of them ?
My husband is a retired Navy man. I married him when he was 26 %26amp; I was 22. He didn't curse then and now at 82 he still doesn't.


Now that I have defended him, I will suggest help for you.





Try your best to accept your situation since you can't move %26amp; I'm sure you have heard the old phrase ';You can gather more bees with Honey then you can with Vinegar';. You know that's true and if you can try to be friends %26amp; accept the fact that everyone is different %26amp; that little bit of fun was something they needed. It's not like it happens every night. Right ? You are early to bed %26amp; they arn't. Put some good music on, think pleasant thoughts, get some earplugs, they do block out noise %26amp; they are cheap. We use them when we travel %26amp; noises arn't the ones we are familur with. Everything gets real quite %26amp; thats what you want, sometimes even when your awake. Right ?


Good Luck %26amp; Blessing to you ~~~
Well, it sounds like you live in the states, since that's a law every where. 1100 is considered a proper bed time and 5:00 is considered a proper get up time.I suggest you either speak to them or get ear plugs. Some people just don't realize how loud they can be. Perhaps they wear hearing aids and didn't have them in. You could wear some of those disposable ear plugs. If you do speak to them I wouldn't have an attitude when I do it. It will only make matters worse. Be nice and explain you go to bed very early and need your sleep and you would love it if they could hold the noise down a bit.Sugar draws more peace than vinegar does you know.Good luck.

HELP! bad friendship problem and i need advice bad :/?

okaay. so theres this group of girls who are like total bitches. and me marie and lindsey (best friends) use to be part of it but left. me and marie saved lindsey from all the stuff they did to her and for 9 mounths we had to listen to bull about how much she hated them. . . but then the new year of school came around. and she sorta started ignoring us.. then she completely didnt talk to us at all. then later i hear that she was talking **** about us behind our backs.. then she confronted me and asked me why i wasnt talking to her and i told her because she bashed these girls forever now is ditching them for us ? then she said that she was aluod to have other friends and she never said anything bad about them.... so she was one of my best friends but i dont know who she is anymore.. do you think shes worth fighting for ? or just another one to forget ?HELP! bad friendship problem and i need advice bad :/?
You should not have to work hard to keep a true friend. Talk to her but don't support her in decisions she makes that you dislike. Be honest with her and your self.HELP! bad friendship problem and i need advice bad :/?
Well, i think that i you really feel that you don't even know who she is anymore then you should probably remain friends but not best friends anymore. I think you two should not be enemies and should be able to talk to each other whenever but i don't think that being best friends is necessarily the right idea.
Another one to forget. If you're in high school, trust me i know from experiance, after you graduate and leave it's not going to matter. You have other friends, if she talks s*** about them then hangs out with them, chances are she's doing the same to you.
Honestly I don't think she is worth it. She sounds like a bad friend who is also very dramatic. Hold on to the good ones but get rid of the bad ones. The same kind of thing happened to me and not being friends with her anymore was a smart thing to do.
I'd ignore her. if she has new friends, then let her have them.





we ll know that other groups talk about others. Has happened for many many years. It will continue.





Just let her know you know she needs to try new pathes with new people and good luck,
Just some typical high school drama, it happens to us all. You will probably be able to keep her as a friend, But, if it;s more trouble than its worth, just let it go hun.
Sounds like a *****. Remember nothing lasts forvever.
She's probably not worth your time.


I'm sorry.


But, if she's going to be such a ';backstabber'; about things and such, she's not worth it.


There are better people out there.
shes two faced. shes not your true friend, be careful or she'll stab you right in the back. it sucks, i went through all that ****.
I THINK THAT SHE SHOULD BE MAKING AN EFFORT TO BE YOUR FRIEND AND IF SHE ISN'T THEN SHE IS NOT WORK IT.








HOPE I HELPED!
forget. she is too weak for acceptance. she will betray you in many ways, better with a loyal friend
these guys should just go... you know what i mean right? just go...
she is a back stabber ignore her! enjoy your true friends

I have a problem and I need advice?

I'm 22 years old. I have no job and still live with my parents. I have tried to get a job yet nothing turns up in my favor. Strong possibility it's because I'm in debt and also because I don't try as hard and often as I should to look for employment.





My mom constantly tells me to get a job and help out with bills and stuff. I don't have a problem with that and I don't feel that I'm a lazy person. Well, I'll admit that I may be lazy when it comes to actually looking for a job but around the house I clean a lot and take care of the pets. So it's not like I do absolutely nothing to help out while I live off of my parents for free.





Currently, I'm just so tired of looking for a job. What's the point anymore? I want to be independent but right now that's not happening. I've had 4 jobs before so I know what it's like to work hard. I've been to college and held a part time job at the same time which was the toughest thing to me I've ever done. No sleep barely and barely ever ate anything. Almost got in a car accident because I was driving while so sleepy. But I had to go to work...even if it killed me. Lol.





Anyway, I'm having a difficult time. Right now, I'm happy and content in my life. Could I be doing better? Of course but I'm not and I'm tired of thriving on the negative. I hear get a job from my mom, dad and brother. And my brother is 17 years old and has not even had his first job yet. My mom forced me to get a job when I was 16.





I definitely have issues with my brother getting away with not being scolded at for not having a job but I do. But I'm 22 and that is understandable but I feel like my parents focus all their attention on me. I've always had negative feelings towards my brother when we were younger. He got away with not doing anything to help around the house but I never did. It frustrates me and I been feeling that I want to give up. I don't care anymore, about a job, about being independent, about what anyone thinks of me.





But I would like advice on how to motivate myself to become independent. I am planning to go back to school. So hopefully this opportunity will help me and my dilemma. But no matter how hard I try what if I still can't find a job? I wonder would my parents get to the point of kicking me out if I don't eventually find a job?





My mom always tells me that it is important for a young lady to be independent and I agree with her. But it's just not happening for me and I'm sad because my parents think of me as lazy. I want to do all the right things and make them happy and proud of me but I easily get so discouraged my feelings hurt.





So what's a girl like me to do?I have a problem and I need advice?
Well 1st don't give up as easy as it sounds to be. Trust that God will not allow you to carry more than you are able no matter how hard it feels to breathe.....all you hAVE TO DO IS ASK AND HE WILL LIFT THE WEIGHT AND BROADEN YOUR VISION AS YOU SEE IT TOMORROW %26amp; THEN NEXT DAY AND THE NEXT....take deep breaths when mom is on you and baby steps (IMPORTANT) only take on one task at a time forget that you have 25 things to do in one day....just prioritize your list and start then check off as you go down the list. This helped me when I was unemployed for a little over three years. I only dwelled on the negative cuz I couldn't see past the obvious or the words of others around me. But once I was given this simple way of taking on the next day advice I almost couldn't believe how small of a chnage that was needed to get back on track with motivation and inspiration! If you think Big (-negative get a big headache or Big positives get a Big sense of self worth beynd any measure or salary earned) One step at a time, one day at a time, one way at a time and believe me it will get easier. We (adults now) are only going to make our futures much harder by not working hard now to have the ability to Save for the security of our future as an Independent woman, man, senior b/c the less work we put towards our own lives will be 3x's as ard when we are our parents and grandparents age. Seriously....I have had the advantage of seeing a wide range of poor to moderate to wealthy to bancrupt to homeless to who knows but you'll have a much better chance of an emotionally stable life if you are able to provide for yourself in the event that you don't have a home to run to or a relatives shoulder to lean even a friend that is able to help in the vent of a disaster. I just flood my mind with focus on what tsk I accomplished during a day (just the one thought if only one) instead of burdening my mind, heart, %26amp; soul with the multiple things undone to the point of exhaustion and near giving up. Once you cross the line of feeling un motivated sometimes to I can't remember when I didn't want ot give up on life all of the time it is extremely hard to get back on track again with the simple things as taking a shower or leaving the house and begin to self-deteriorate.I have a problem and I need advice?
Definetly, you are not lazy but to get education is very good idea, thinks will foll into place regarding your independence.
'; I don't try as hard as I should'; you said it and that is the answer.





One thing about being home is that you tend to act more child like.





Listen to yourself, you know what you're talking about.
it sounds like you lack direction in your life. What are you interested in? What do you want to do with your life? you're still young but you're at the age where you should begin laying the foundation for a career. I think it's a great idea for you to go back to college; try to start heading towards a career, eventually you will find a job if you remain determined to do so.


And always try to have fun with whatever you're doing, that will make your life always seem better.


Best of luck

I have a problem and need some advice on what too do please?

I have suspected for a while that my husband was having an affair. I have forgiven a previous one and thought he would stop. This weekend I looked at his text messages (bad I know) and there was one on there from 3 months ago (why hasn't he deleted it?). He had sent one saying ';I still really love you baby';. I sent her the same text again from his phone to see if there was a reply. She texted back saying (this shocked me) ';You promised to leave me alone. If you don't I will get a restraining order';. I was speechless - is he stalking someone? What do I do?I have a problem and need some advice on what too do please?
She has wised up to the fact that he wants his cake and to eat it. Either that or she found out your husband was married and told him to leave her alone. She probably doesnt want to be involved with a married man and now he is harassing her.





What you should do is get the locks changed by the time he comes home.





You could try contacting the woman to find out what has happened.I have a problem and need some advice on what too do please?
Sweetheart he is never going to stop, my advice to you is get out while you can, the longer this goes on the worse it will get and do you really want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder waiting for this to happen again, and believe me it will. There are lots of men out there that would treat you a whole lot better than this, you do not deserve this, no one does. Good luck to you I hope you sort this soon.
if this was me i would definately leave him.


I truley believe relationships are based on trust and by him cheating on you this is broken. You are always gonna be thinking is he doing something behind my back and no matter how much you love him it will make you miserable.


Take a step back and think if this was happening to your best friend, sister, mother or someone equally as close what would your advice be to them?
You are accusing your husband for that he broke up with that woman. A 3 month old message is not a reason to be upset today. Yes, maybe it was hard to break up. Your husband is a human being, like you. And now YOU are revitalizing that relationship. And YES: spying on your husband's phone IS the same bad as your husband's behavior WAS. Do you see? IS and WAS.
Good grief woman, why did you forgive him in the first place? If he is able to cheat he just doesn't love you, and even if he didn't love you he should have enough respect not to do it. What is going on between him and this woman is not important, he's a loser and anyone, including you, can do better
I think you know what you have to do. Separate and see if he cleans up his act. He might want to be free or he might get a kick out of cheating. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And no I don't think it was wrong of you to read text messages. He has not earned your trust. Trust is a privilege, not a right.
What exactly did you write in the text yo sent her? Why did you even pretend to be your husband? If your hubby has cheated before and you have stayed with him, do you think any of us will suggest to you to ';stay with him or dump him'; ?





My advice to you is: dump him - period. He has obviously no respect for you and is stupid enough to get caught while cheating on you !
WOW he is stalking someone!





Contact a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings! Then break his phone into tiny little pieces.





If he has done it before, he is going to do it again
my advice to you is leave him as quickly as possible .trust in the lord that you can find an honest man .because they are out there.i hope the best for you.
the good news: Your husband's affair is really over......


the bad news: Your husband is a psycho stalker......





Confront him with this evidence......
Leave the message on the screen and watch for his reactions when he reads it , then pounce .
your husband is trying his luck again with the ex, and he intends to be disloyal to you...
visit a doctor
That is awful. Maybe ask him about it.
consult ur lawyer
I would dump him
Eeek. He's a male Glenn Close. Run!
Not only is he a cheater, but a damn stupid one ! If I was you, I would dump him and gain back my self confidence.
Become a spy. Find out her name. Then buy a prepaid cell phone. You can get one at radio shack virgin mobil. Once you have the phone, text him a message saying you are her, and that you have lost your phone, and this is your new one. On his phone, block her number from incoming calls and text. Use the new phone, apologize for being so ';weird lately';. Start texting each other. If he buys it, there is all kinds of info you can get out of him if you are smart about it. set up a date to meet some place. Then show up and bust his balls. If you want to bug his computer so you can see everything he does on it, go to webwatcher.com You will see everything, passwords, e-mails, web sites, everything he does and looks at. Good luck.
He will never stop cheating . You made the mistake in forgiving him once. I have just discovered my long term partner has been having a 6 month affair with - FROM FACEBOOK. She is fully aware of my existence and has told me she doesn't care as she is ';having fun';.


We were planning to have a baby and I find messages on her wall from MY bloke saying how he misses her and how many days it is till he sees her next.





HE WILL NEVER STOP CHEATING,. I forgave my one too, once..... and if the woman your husband is pestering wasn't in the picture, someone else soon would be.





END YOUR DOOMED MARRIAGE. Life is too short and you are worth more.





Get rid of him. He is stealing your life, time and energy. Don't let him.

Boyfriend has anger problem when too drunk, advice please?

Hi. Im in a relationship with a 24-yr old guy and have been with him for almost 4 months. He seemed wonderful and healthy and normal at first, and we have great chemistry and a great relationship, except for this one thing-. I recently I uncovered something that鈥檚 having me worried鈥攚henever he gets very drunk, he becomes very loud, obnoxious and often violent-seeming鈥攙ery out of character from his usual relaxed and easygoing self.When hes in that state of mind he takes everything really personally and acts very defensive, and if I (or his friends etc.)say the wrong thing he鈥檒l cause a huge scene, threatens people, he also gets extremely possessive and controlling in that state, threatening to fight guys who look at me, etc. And the worst is that he鈥檚 completely uncontrollable-no matter what I say to him to try to help the situation he won鈥檛 listen, often making an even bigger scene. (continued below)Boyfriend has anger problem when too drunk, advice please?
Yes it will be good if ,,,,,you can get him to read that self help book. It would also help if you can get him to AA meeting. After that leave the scene go somewhere where you cannot be found and let him go through the healing process. Find yourself a new life and a new BFBoyfriend has anger problem when too drunk, advice please?
get out of the relationship. its not your responsability to change him. you deserve someone who is emotionally healthy and will treat you with respect.
Yes..he can change and Yes he can get help!! If you really care for this guy? Then give it time to work. Maybe it's his way of asking for help. Let him know that you are there for him!
1. AA


or


2. Run, run fast..........
It won't get better with you and his friends continuing to take him out to get hammered. That's like handing Dick Cheney a shotgun in a close space.
You can't fix this guy and he will cause you grief.
I don't know about you but ask yourself this question. Why do you think that is what you deserve. I mean really, is that what you want??? I am a recovering alcoholic and I hate to tell you but he sounds like me when I was drinking. I have been sober many years. If you stay with him you will enable him and anyone that does will keep him from hitting bottom. If you want a life filled with hellish nights and mean behavior then go with that. I have two daughters, and I would tell them the same thing I just told you. Please don't stay in that situation. You are worthy and God wants more for you. Please hear me. Bless you.
you've only been together for 4 months i say leave him before it gets worse...he can only be helped if he lets some1 too and by the way he is sounding there is no hope anytime soon!
Oh my goodness your story is full of red flags. You could change the names in the story and it could be the story of any abused woman. They all start out wonderful and when something bad happens they all swear they will change or get help. And many do change for a while but each time the problems come back they get more severe. You see when you stand by him, he starts believing he can do anything to you and you will always forgive him. You forgiving him is enabling him to continue on this pattern. I say let him go fix his problem and call you when he is done. If at that time you still want to be together then great. If not then it wasn't meant to be anyway. Please don't think that you can save or change him. He needs to do that on his own before he commits to any relationship. I suggest you get out now while you don't have that much time invested. Good luck!
Maybe some counselling with someone who might help him to get rid of the rage that is deep down inside his being. He seems as though he feels as though he has to prove himself worthy to everyone and when he gets drunk he resents that fact and takes it out on anyone who gets in his way. Next time he goes into one of these rages, make arrangements with some of his friends to get him home, then quietly when you get the chance, sneak out and go home yourself. If he attacks you over this when he is sober, tell him you will continue to act this way, until he does something to help himself to get over his aggression.
Alcohol suppresses your cerebral cortex and limbic system as well as the other major parts of the brain. The cerebral cortex processes your thoughts, information on senses and muscle movement. Leaving you with poor judgment, stumbling and rambling. Limbic system is the emotional side. And alcohol can result in over dramatic stages of emotion, such as rage. In your boyfriends case it's causing him to become more violent, which is just going to be a side effect from going over board on drinking. My suggestion is keep him off the alcohol, or if he has enough self control to limit the amount he takes in. Wish you the best of luck, hope everything works out.
leave him
The only way he will be able to help the situation is if he stops drinking. If he can't and won't, you need to leave him as it is only a matter of time before he does cross the line and physically assaults you. Get him to stop drinking, the ONLY thing you can do if he refuses is to leave him, as a relationship with someone like that who won't do anything to help himself will never work.

I have a problem...looking for Islamic advice...=)?

Asalaamu Alaikum...how are you? my story is a little bit long so if you have time and Sabr and would appreciate answers =)





I'm 19 years old girl and this boy likes me a lot apparently...he's 20...I see him often because he used to be my classmate and sometimes I meet him after school cuz he's usually around there...anyways, I donno what to do...I don't want to like him the way he likes me because I don't think i want to marry him...but i have grown some kind of like for him...and im already attracted to him and find myself even flirting sometimes,, astaghfarullah...when I told him I only like him as a friend, he started to cry, which made me feel really bad...how am I supposed to drift away from him when he is persistent in wanting me to ';love'; him back? he's from Yemen...he's very nice in personality, but I don't know if he practices Islam very well now, or truly fears of Allah...I know in his past he was really bad, he had sex 3 times, and he smokes, which I hate both of those things so much and makes me mad at myself for even talking to him...why is my heart fighting with my mind over such a thing? there are a lot really really good things about him, but the bad thing about him is his past, and my uncertainty of his DEEN, which is the most important aspect.





he told his parents about me even though I told him I only like him as a friend, and I got mad when he told me that...he has reason for everything he tells me too but still...I don't want to continue with this, because I feel scared of punishment for it on Yawn Al-Qiyamah...and I feel scared that if I chose to get engaged with him or something, I would completely regret it...I'm confused all because I allowed him to talk to me and get to know me,, which led me to start liking him too a little bit...





so, whoever is willing to advise me, feel free to ask any question which you think would help you to answer my question better...





JAZAKUMALLAH KHAIR





sorry if my question seems inappropriate, but to tell the truth many girls and guys go through these kind of situations, whether they feel bad about it or not.





SalaamI have a problem...looking for Islamic advice...=)?
Assalamu Alaikum, My Sister in Islam





As you mention you already know that he has committed sins before which makes him unchaste,





then how can you disregard the Ayah of Allah





in which Allahs says marry chaste women with chaste men only and marry unchase women with unchase men only.





Secondly Allah says don't step on the path that may lead you to zina.


You probably know this command of Allah, that is why you say


Astagfirullah after mentioning your own sin of flirting with a young man.





Your flirting with him and having friendship with a man is following the path that leads to haram activity. Hopefully you have not done yet, but you can slip on to it too if continued the path you are on..





If you are chaste and virgin women (and it sounds from your words that you are), the right way for you is to detach from him completely as Islam doesn't allow friendship with opposite sex. Allah says marry chaste women with chaste men only and you know he is not chaste. Your marrying him will be your disobedience to Allah's command.





Your having friendship with a man and also not wanting to marrying a man who loves you and cries for you is both wrong. You are selfish and want both ways that is having friendship, flirting and not wanting him to marry also with him. Your both ways are un-Islamic and wrong and haram ways in Islam. You also know what you are doing is wrong but you fail to dis-associate from him.





You don't need our advice. You know what is wrong and what is right in Islam. I think your Eiman is weak. That is why you are making wrong choices even though you know what you are doing is wrong.





Right choice for you is to completely dis-associate from him because he is unchaste and you can not marry him. And don't start friendship or flirting with any one if you are a true chaste virgin Muslimah.





May Allah guide you to the right path of Allah and save you from hell fire. I can only advice and make dua for you.





Ma Salama urs brother in Islam. AMI have a problem...looking for Islamic advice...=)?
It's your fault sis, why meet him, you are not young 19 is a woman, by the time my mother was 19 she had two sons, just tell him straight, i do not like you in that way, his reaction will tell you a lot about him.
Walaikum Assalam Behan,





I back Esra in this case. Listen to her and your gut feeling. I have a feeling that this guy is going to use you and dump later. Take care.
I will advice u a simple %26amp; very best things,which prophet Muhammad (saw) hav ordered 2 do if Muslims have any situation like this.


And thing is .Do ISTIKHARA .


InshaAllah God will himself help u wether he is fine 4 u or not.
If he is a Muslim there is no problem in marrying him. Talk to your parents and take a decision on their advice.





Since he is not a mushrik, the injunction in Holy Qur'an is not applicable to you.
In Islam, Sins can be forgiven with sincere repentance. Such people will always regret for their sins and will not try repeating their sin talking %26amp; flirting after girls or smoke cigarettes. So my advice is leaving this man alone for the sake of Allah. Keep praying to Allah for the best. If he was truly decreed for you, Allah will make better ways that are pleasing to Him to get you a husband. Allah (s.w.t) will open for you ways which you never thought of. It comes in Hadith that if we forsake something that is displeasing to Allah for His sake, Allah (s.w.t) will replace with what's far better for us. This is a very fact. Remember, life in this world is only one chance鈥? So don't spoil your life taking wrong steps. Make Isthikhara and keep praying. Then help of Allah comes only through ways that are Halal.
first off, I think u have fornicication and adultery mixed up... As for your question, no body can give u a definite answer since we dont know this person and whether or not he is sincerly sorry for his sins. U say his iman isn't very high, which could be a problem. So reallly its ur decision, but I will tell u this, prophet muhammad (pbuh) said, when a man and a women are alone, the third person present is shaytaan. I hope u make a wise desicion, and are happy.





I agree with the ppl below me :)


Good luck!
I would of pray and make a lot of duaa and ask Allah SWT to protect me from falling in to any sin and to always keep me purified, strong to resist, and a better Muslimah, and I would also ask Allah to keep me away from bad friends/people and ask him for good Muslim friends and companies..


Please don't feel week in front of his talks or tears, and never to surround ur believes and faith for anyone or anything.. Be strong, confident, and never allow someone to drag u to something u may regret it for lifetime and may not be able to forgive yourself for..


Also try to pray Estekharah and ask Allah to guide u for the right path and too strength u on facing the haram desires and facing all bad people, and also ask Allah to guide him too to the right path and make him a good Muslim and forgive him, u, and all of us. And May Allah swt accept ur duaa and give u all the best ensha2allah, amen..


I really feel every single word of ur story and can easily live with it.. I will pray for u to always be stronger on facing any difficulties and to always be a good Muslim ensha2allah..


May Allah bless u, and please take a good care of yourself..



Hi Sister...I Was in a Situation like this...


If u really need an Advice than I Advice U to Keep Away From this Guy..!..


Read What Esra has Wrote...She has Wrote Correct...


Hope U Understand what I Said.....


Have a good day
Walakumasalam,





The solution is simple, you stop talking to him, meeting him. Look he is nice and all that, but its still wrong for a girl to be with another man who is not her mahram(like father, brother, uncles, cousin etc).





Nowadays, is very easy to go toward something wrong. And you have said too that you are feeling a bit of likeness toward him. Its happening because we as humans, love attention, and he is very attentive to you, is making you feel like you`re the reason he is alive. Its a great feeling to know someone can`t live without you. But you have to remember that you can`t do anything that goes against a muslim`s nature. Also he is already sexually active, he has already said goodbye to islam, you shouldn`t do it too. He has convinced others to be with him, eventually he will get to you too. He is like the devil trying to make you come to the wrong path.





Its hard to sometimes end our friendships with people. But you have to look at the broader view. You have to remember that you can`t do anything that will hurt you, will hurt your iman and than you have to remember that you can`t do anything that will shame you and your family, hurt them. Most of all, you have to remember that you can`t let anyone jeopardize your iman.





You should tell him that you are not interested in him and you don`t like his advancements. And you have to decided to end your friendship with him and he shouldn`t bother you anymore. It`ll be hard, but if you stay firm on what you have said than he will get the hint. You should stoping talking to him, you should maybe even change your routes so he is not able to follow you and engage you in a conversation. If you ignore him for a month or so, he will get bored and find someone else.





As for him crying when you said no, its all a show. Girls get trapped in the trick of tears and than end up doing things they regret later.





I would say be very clear with him by your words and actions. And find some other friends, maybe girls and forget him. Most of all, make a lot of dua to allah to guide you and help you, to give you strength to stay firm on your statements. Read two nafils of need to allah and ask his help. He`ll guide you and give you strength. I went through the same thing in high school, so trust me i know what i`m saying. If u`re firm and really ignore him, he will leave you alone. Don`t be rude to him, just nicely say everything. And if you ever see him, be nice to him, just don`t talk too much with him.





May allah guide you, strengthen you and protect you from any evil and the shaitan. Amen.
Hi sister


i think you should end this before you start to fall in love with him


he doesn't seem to be a good fit for marriage to be honest .. and us girls always have this sixth instinct about these stuff





your mind is warning you and your heart doesn't want to listen





leave him before anything serious happens .. some guys run behind what they feel is a hard target .. i think that is the case here
Attractions are normal, but he may not be the one. You are confused and need time to think without pressure, take some time away from interacting with him, tell him you have some things to think about. Will he maintain interest if you don't interact? My guess is he won't, but he could be a surprise. Pasts should be forgiven, but has he matured and won't do it again is the question? He gets credit for his honesty about it. Also, will he give up smoking for you? If he does, you have an indication of the kind of husband he will be. If he won't give it up for you, you also have an indication of the kind of husband he will be. Which kind of husband do you want? Let him know and see if he is willing to be that man for you.
Walaikumusalam dearest sister,





I am really hot!! lol it is really really hot here!!!





As for your question, i can relate to you because i am a 19 year old male, and i have been put into this situation many many many many times.





When i find that people who are weak in faith, or the unbelievers are attracted to me, what i usually do is keep my distance from these girls, but if they are persistant i scare them away. These women that were attracted to me are beeaautiful sister, i mean they are gorgeous women who i was attracted to and bascially said no to. How did i do it? Because if you use your foresight, you know exactly what is going to happen if you stay in contact with these people. Zina, is something no believer wants to play around with, i for one dont take chances. So after i finished school, and i was in contact with all these women, i fell off the grid, meaning i completely dissapered and made sure that these women forgot about me. Shaytaan works in steps, first its the looking, than talking, then touching and then a sin which can destroy you, and not only you but your entire family for the rest of your life, think about what your gambling here. You are in the middle of shaytaans trickery, now its your call just as i made mine long ago, either you continue seeing this man and get closer and closer to your own destruction, or you use your wisdom and take out this risk factor which will lead to a tremendous sin.





How do you drift away from him? Tell him precisely what you have told us. Tell him directly you fear Allah(SWT) and want nothing to do with Zina.





A man that has committed Zina three times obviously has some serious issues, is this the kind of man you want to father your children? Is this the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with?





May Allah(SWT) be a light for you when all other lights are out, ameen.








Thank you :-), im from Australia, Melbourne. Its just beggining to get warm here, maybe thats why im feeling so


warm.

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