Big LOVE PROBLEM! I need YOUR ADVICE! Please help!?

K so heres the thing, making a long story short...


there is this girl i really like. shes nice, smart, beautiful, ummm what other qualities to angels have.... yeah so i didnt really get to like her til i got to know her, talk to her spend time with her. So we spent most classes togeather, talked on msn almost everyday, and talked on the phone too every once in a while. So i really got to like her, which is weird since im a guy and i liked a girl for who she was. So i told one of her good friends(who is also a realllyyyyyyyyyy good friend of mine) how i felt about her. So one day the girl wanted me to tell her who i ';liked';. I wanted to tell her but i wasnt sure. So when i asked our mutual friend if i should tell her she said ';No tell her in person tomorrow'; Turns out the next day about 10 min before i was going to tell her some other guy(whom ive always disliked) asked her out and she said yes :(. So sad me. The next few days the girl was mad at me since i wasnt telling her who ilikeBig LOVE PROBLEM! I need YOUR ADVICE! Please help!?
First of all, you are a wonderful guy! It is so nice to hear that guys pine over girls as much as we do them.





Secondly, it sounds like the lady you are interested in the ';idea'; of her current boyfriend. You mentioned that she liked him before he asked her out. When girls (and guys too) like someone from afar, they start to develop an idea of what it would be like to be with that person. However, it is often that once you get with that person, you realize that they are not at all like you thought they would be in your head. BUT, so often people choose to stay with the person they're with because they keep hoping that the person will live up to their original idea. They tell themselves that they just need time, or that they themselves need to treat their boyfriend a certain way and he will start to act like this idea.





Life is short. I say pour your heart out to this girl again. Tell her that you think she deserves better. She has this idea of what her boyfriend is like, but why on earth would she want to live with an idea when she can have the real thing in YOU. Doesn't she feel the connection between the two of you? Ask her not to deny it to herself. Ask her to choose happiness, the happiness that you would bring her.





You sound like the kind of guy who would truly appreciate her. I pray she comes to her senses and chooses to be happy and loved by you.





Best wishes to you, mate!Big LOVE PROBLEM! I need YOUR ADVICE! Please help!?
Well how old are you? She should break up with him cause he's an *** and no one deserves an *** in thier life.
dude just sit back and wait. because that other guy will eventually mess up and ditch her or she ditches him. and you will be right there ready to pick your new girl up
ok dude





you need to become more outgoing ok.





and spend less time with her





make her think you stop liking her





then have fun with some other girls. ok





if you see her get jelous then this plan is in action.





work harder at this ok





but when she really gets jelous ask her if she is happy with her man





if not then theres your chance to promise to care for her and always be there





if yes just ask her if she jelous of you





if not then she dont care bout you





i have a history of having every girl i have wanted so jus working on it





use ur instincts





do something to make yourself kool like.....hmmm..........get abs or somthing make urself better than her man





then when u think u really miss her act like your there more then her boyfriend is.








and also act really innocent around her friends so that they think your good








eventually u will get wat you want like candy so try this ok
Okay..Wow !you are sooo infatuated with this girl you're manic.She knows partially how you feel,why not tell her the rest (as calmly as possible).That she is confusing you and you feel using you ,at least thats what I'm hearing.Let her know you only want the best for her and that you are doing the best you can to cope with the situation.But that she needs to think about how much she is hurting you.
omg that is so sweet but I'm kinda stumped.


This is a hard question!


if you guys are that tight (which is adorable), if you tell her she will understand get the scores that you found out the cheating info from and give her proof if she doesn't believe you and she knows you a lot better and she should like you a lot better and i bet she dose so just tell her hes cheated on other girls and lies to her and if she breaks up with him don't jump rite on her give her some time and comfort her then she will realize what shes missing out and trust me you might want to take advice from a GIRL on KEEP SMILING :D





~Max~
Ok so i can tell u really like this girl and if u want her to be happy then tell her the truth that he has cheated on all his past girlfriends. She might not beleive you at first but later she will realize that you really care for her and you want her to be happy and she will also realize that you were telling the truth.
To make your ';Short'; story even shorter , if she did like you in that way she wouldnt have got with the other boy , regardless of his past








you could have spent to much time liken her if you know what i meen rather then telling her you liked her....like when you said you spoke on msn all the time and the phone sometimes you should have been out with her in person telling her the these things











EDIT:





Reading your situation more my ex got back with her ex even though hes exactly the same as the guy your describing , believe me ive been in your situation , but in a few days youl be over it , you could tell her what hes like and if she chooses not to believe you and then one day she finds out its true well your in ;)
sad story but cute. basicly your traped in the love triangle and losing. anyway, if he is such an as_hole, then i really don't think that the relationship will get to serios. just be strong, wait it out well still supporting her only as a friend. and when the breakup happens, wait a little while then ask her out.
Wow...


Long story short?


Love sucks sometimes doesn't it?


And sometimes it's blind.





I don't think this girl is going to GET IT unless she experiences what an a** this guy is for herself. I know you don't want her to get hurt but maybe that's the only way for her to see the light. And if it does happen, you'll be there to comfort her.





Just don't try to push her to hard. And keep trying to be a friend to her. Maybe have a talk with her about what your feeling.





I really dont know what else to say.


Good luck man!


You seem like a really sweet guy.
dude its friday night go out and meet some other girl this is not gonna work out. So go out before you get married and end up sitting at home because your wife doesnt feel good....like me
Dude, just tell her how much of a jerk he is the next time he hurts her. If you two are as close as you say then she will believe you. I've dealt with girls that don't want to listen to what you have to say before, but in time everything will work itself out (even if she ends up getting hurt). Just remember to always be there for her and I guarantee that she will come to you. I hope you end up with her in the end. Good luck!
Holy man, this is long!!


But I know the situation you're in, more so the situation she's in.


I've been in the same one.


I think that she just doesn't see whats right infront of her face.


Your her security blanket, be there for her.


She'll most likely come running to you when something goes TOTALLY wrong with him.


If you want to be with her, be there for her.


thats all I can think of right now.


If I think of more, I'll definatly add.





:) good luck.
well Dude. it sounds like you just have to go through it good luck . life is not over. and i hope you feel better after you got that off your chest. Now read what you wrote and i think you will come up with solution. I can see you love her but weather you are with her or not you should always treat her as you feel she should be treated as the lady you admire.
First off meet up with her somewhere safe, where no one would see you two talking (so that her boy friend doesn't find out) and tell her face to face that you don't think her current boy friend is the right choice. Explain to her that yes, the fact that you love her is part of it, but mainly you are concerned for her. Her boy friend sounds kind of abusive, verbally and may be even physically. Tell her that (how ever cheesy it may sound'; that you are willing to be what ever she needs right now, weather that be a friend, a boy friend or jut someone to talk to. If she accepts this, then ask about how things are going with her bf, and after she says what ever she says tell her about the points on why he is a scum bag (he cheats, lies ect.). She may get defensive and angry at this point, but calmly explain that you were just concerned for her. By the end either 3 things will have happened: 1) you make out 2) she agrees about her bf and she is hesitant to break up with him the next day 3) every thing stays the same.





Well best of luck to you and if she wished you had told her earlier that means she had feeling for you and probably still does!
alright, let me point something out: I used to be very unnatractive to women (I don't know how I do it, but now I get very attractive and smart and nice girlfriends) and I fell in love with one girl I went to school with In 8th grade. She never felt the same way, and It always killed me. Don't tell her you love her, but I think you might. Don't tell her that because a lot of times that scares girls because they feel pressured or just because they don't feel the same way. I mean, I'm not expert on girls or anything, so I can't tell you this for sure, but most girls have very low self-esteem and self-confidence and if you tell them you love them, they don't comprehend why you could because they view themselves in a totally different way, and they think you're trying to get into their pants. I'm no expert, like I said earlier, but that's just my perspective. Tell her what you said. She's amazingly gorgeous, super smart, and really sweet. Tell her that angel thing (I know it's corny, but it's about all you have left) tell her you were intimidated by these qualities because you really really liked her, but you couldn't tell her. Oh yeah, and have a lot of confidence when you say this. And then next time you and her boyfriend talk, stand up for her, not yourself. Tell him that if he really liked her and wasn't just trying to lay her, then he wouldn't treat her the way he does. If he attacks you personally, call him the smaller man and just say, ';Look, dude, you're immature. It's not cool the way you act, and this bad-boy **** may work now, but later, you're f*cked. Grow up.'; Tell her that you always feel down when she's not around and that the only time you're happy is when you see her smile and that you miss the old times. Be a semi-jerk to her boyfriend, but be bigger than him. And just talk to her. If he hits you, though, try to beat him up, and if he grapples you, grab his stomach (mid-abs) and pull and twist, I guarantee he'll cry. And if you ever want to kick him in the shin, don't. Scrape downwards, it hurts a lot worse and exposes him for a quick hit to the face. But that's if it gets physical. But don't tell her you're in love with her, and when you eventually do, say ';in'; love because some girls take it the other way. Also...don't be immature and rude around her, treat her and her boyfriend with respect (yes, him too because it proves you're better) and be kind. But be the bigger person I guess is the point here. Explain how you feel, don't go too far, and just act the same way you always have because if she did like you then that's the boy she liked.